Healing Works Only When You Embody It

We draw a hard line between healing as a tool and healing as an identity, because awareness is meant to return us to life, not replace it. We challenge the spiritual ego, the addiction to “becoming,” and the way self-help can turn into avoidance when the real goal is freedom, presence, and embodied living. 

• healing as a bridge rather than a destination 
• how making healing your identity keeps you stuck 
• the spiritual ego using meditation and modalities to avoid 
• being vs becoming and why appreciation matters 
• presence, embodiment, and “nowness” as the real practice 
• why healing just to manifest becomes another high 
• permission to love fully and risk heartbreak again 
• choosing love and humanity in conflict and daily life 
• a real story of responding to a car break-in with compassion 

"Then come on inside of the DG Mindset Academy where this is the energy that has been draped all within it... Get your butt in there."

If you’re ready to stop consuming information and start creating real transformation, the DG Mindset Academy is where the work happens. Learn how your mind, subconscious patterns, nervous system, and identity shape your reality so you can heal, grow, and perform at your highest level. Join a community of people committed to becoming who they were truly meant to be.

Find out more here

Transcript

Welcome And A Fair Warning

SPEAKER_01 0:05

Once you see what you actually are, that you're an infinite, limitless being, you'll see that nothing exists outside of you. I'm your host, Derek Grant, and this is the Pathway to Your Results Podcast.

SPEAKER_03 0:28

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Pathway to Results Podcast. It is your brethren, your boy DG. We are here. Um, I just want to apologize in advance. I'm gonna apologize in advance because if last week, this last episode was uh it was triggering or it was tough to hear or it brought up stuff inside of you. I want to apologize in advance for this episode.

SPEAKER_02 0:52

Because this episode ain't gonna be nothing but a backpack. It's gonna piggyback off the last one.

SPEAKER_03 0:58

Okay. We talked about last episode how when your healing journey becomes performative, you ain't really healing. Okay.

Healing Versus Actually Living

SPEAKER_03 1:06

Today I want to talk about the difference between healing and living. So the moment that your growth stops becoming something you do and becomes something that you are. See, I see this happen so often. People get stuck in a healing phase. You know who I'm talking about. You know exactly who I'm talking about. They become experts at awareness. Right? I'm an expert at awareness. I'm an expert at trauma. I'm an expert at nervous system stuff, I'm an expert at uh patterns. The goal was never healing, y'all. That's not the goal. The goal is not healing. The goal is to reclaim your divine freedom. Do you hear what I'm saying? So I see this happen so often. People are so focused on healing that they've forgotten how to live. At some point, you're gonna have to stop studying so much, and you're gonna have to start participating. At some point, you're gonna have to just live it. At some point, you gotta stop making awareness as the destination. Hmm? And awareness is huge. Awareness is key. But see, the whole point of healing, the whole point of awareness was to return you back to life, to bring you back to now. It wasn't supposed to become your life. Do you see how this works? The goal was never to become healed. The goal was to become free, and healing was the modality that allowed me to do that. So the purpose of healing, the whole purpose of it, healing's not the end goal, it's removing the interference between you and your divine, authentic, truest self. So here's what ends up happening with a lot of people they make healing their identity, y'all. They make healing their identity. And now, guess what? I'm sorry, I apologize if I'm talking to you directly. Because you've made healing your identity, you don't know who you are unless you have a problem. You need a problem to solve. You need some type of trauma to hold on to. I was having a conversation with Jesus. Me and him were sitting down in a conversation, and I was like, I realized I was in this, I was in this loop. And I said to him, I said, yeah, but I gotta get to the root. He goes, why? Why? Why do you have to get to the root? For what? I was like, be well, I don't know. I've never been, I never asked that question. He said, the awareness of it, you have the awareness, you see what it is, and now your job is to not be it. Just not be it. That's it. He said, you get you can get so caught up. You get so caught up in I gotta do this, and I can do that, and now you're not actually living it. So that's why I say healing is the bridge, it's not the destination. It helps to remove the chains, but it doesn't walk for you. It doesn't do it for you. I say this because I see what happens. We try to become better at healing. I want to be better at it, right? I'm healing so I can become better at healing. What the f is that? What is that? Huh? No, you heal so you can live better. I'm not trying to, I'm trying to I'm not trying to heal better. I'm trying to live better. I'm not trying to have like, oh, I want to gain more awareness so I can have more awareness. No, I want to gain more awareness so I can be aware. Do you see

When The Ego Hijacks Healing

SPEAKER_03 5:00

how this works? So here's what ends up happening with the ego for now. I guess I call this the spiritual ego, the self-development ego. The ego can start to use awareness and healing as another way to avoid. It can start to use the thing that was supposed to help you to not live through the ego. It can so sneakily start to contort it and get you now. Your healing has become a thing to avoid what it is that you actually need to be healing. So I see this happen because people will. I gotta read. I gotta I gotta meditate. I gotta, I gotta, I gotta, I gotta, I gotta, I gotta, I gotta, I gotta, I have to, I gotta. And now here's what ends up happening. This modality has actually just become another numbing device. When you say I have to do this, hello, this was me. I gotta meditate today. I gotta meditate. And I'd be frustrated if I couldn't meditate. Life just does what it does. You gotta go do here, you gotta do this. Kids are home for summer. I can't, oh my gosh, I can't meditate. Oh my gosh, why who's being so? Okay, you see what ends up happening now? Meditation has become something that you're attached to. Oh my gosh, I gotta heal this. I gotta heal this. What? That's the ego. So now what ends up happening is you're constantly in the state of like processing and preparing and performing. And now you can never just be the healed version of you. Just be the healed version. So now here's what ends up happening. I see this. Instead of just being, we become addicted to becoming. This is why it's to be honest with you. Sometimes it's challenging to have quote unquote goals. Because if you're not careful, you're gonna start to become enamored with becoming. Just be. Just be. And that's the that's the that's the I don't want to get caught up in the semantics of it, but we will become addicted to the next version of us that's coming. You're constantly seeking the next breakthrough, the next healing, the next awakening, the next level. And you never get to appreciate where you are right now. Just look at where you are right now. Look at the work that you've done on yourself. If we just stop right now, just stop. And the awareness never gains anymore, never expands. Look at where you are right now. Are you kidding me? Look at where you were five years ago. And look at where you are now. Shit. We can look at where you were five months ago and look at where you are now. And guess what? I'm willing to bet you have never taken the time to just sit with a cup of coffee, a cup of tea on your porch, on the ground, and just appreciate where you are right now.

SPEAKER_00 7:57

Look at where you're at. Look at it.

SPEAKER_03 8:02

So we are we're so concerned on healing so we can arrive somewhere. And then here, before you know it, you spent your whole life trying to become this version of you to arrive at this point, and you never took time to just look at where I'm at. Oh my gosh, look at me. Look at me. Look at who I am today. Look at me. I'm so proud of me. I am so proud of me. Do you know how challenging it is in today's world just to be proud of yourself and see yourself for where you are now? You have so many things reminding you of what you were. You have so many things reflecting who you need to become. And you never take time to see who you are. And now what ends up happening is this future version of you becomes a new drug. And healing becomes the new pipe. It becomes the new needle. I gotta heal so I can get to the new version of it. I'm speaking from experience, y'all. I can only speak from experience. And I haven't taken time to say, look at what you are, look at what you are right now, where you going? Who cares where you're going? Who cares where you were? Look at where you are right now. Just do that. Just do that. Just look at your life. Go stand in the fear front of the mirror, butt-naked. Look at yourself. Vulnerable. The raw, real you. Just look at it and look at you and say, Oh my goodness. I remember there was a time when I was ashamed to look at myself. I remember. I remember when I didn't have the confidence to look myself in the mirror. I remember when I would look at myself and I would be ashamed. Why don't you take time to acknowledge that version of you who can do that now? You see, that's being. That's not becoming, that's being. Because growth without appreciation will become self-rejection. Do you hear what I'm saying? If you can't take time to appreciate, appreciate where and who you are right now, you're still rejecting yourself. And then here's the deal: the ego's like, we gotta heal. We gotta heal so we can accept ourselves more. No, you don't. You just need to be in this moment right now and see yourself.

Presence Beats Endless Processing

SPEAKER_03 10:30

See yourself. This is what we call presence. Life is presence. Living is presence. Living isn't found in you understanding something intellectually. Living comes from embodiment, participation, being experience, connection, creation, love, adventure. Do you see how this works? So now you start to realize you've been healing and healing and healing and healing. So you can live your life and be da da da da da. Life isn't a concept.

SPEAKER_00 11:22

It's an experience. That's it. It's an experience. It's not a concept that you you can intellectually understand. It's it's an experience. And guess what? You can only experience things from right now.

SPEAKER_03 11:41

So I'm just telling you this because I I've seen this in my own life. How quickly things can start to become uh I gotta be calm, I gotta become. Yeah, no, no, no, no, no. Becoming is a future tense. Being is a now thing. So I tell you the real goal isn't healing. The real goal isn't manifestation. Because I hear it, you ready? You ready? You ready? I'm gonna say this, right? Some of us only healing so we can manifest. Let me say that again. Because I don't think you hear what I'm saying. Some of us, the only reason why we even on this healing journey is so you can manifest another thing to make you feel good. Huh? Yeah, I'm just I'm healing so like I can like get rid of the past versions of me so I can create this business. Okay, okay, so so the business is your high, and healing has become your crackpipe. Let me go ahead and take a hit real quick. You see how this works? So now, your real goal is not about performance.

Nowness And Being Human

SPEAKER_03 13:00

You know what the real goal is? Living. I'm gonna make up a word. I haven't done it in a couple episodes. Nowness. Nowness. The real goal is nowness. The real goal is is-ness. The real goal is be. Huh? You know what the word be, what the word be means? Why do you think we call human beings? Being comes from the word be. Be comes from the word, the old English word beyond, B-E-O-N. You know what that means? To exist. Existence can only happen now. So you are called a human presence. That's what your name is. We're a human presence, a human nowness, a human is-ness, a human beyond. That's what you were. You're supposed to be present. And you see, guess what? Good God Almighty. What happens? What do we tell ourselves when you need to just ground yourself? Go outside and ground yourself. Why do we say that? Go out and sit on Mother Nature, sit with Mother Nature, ground yourself. Why? Because we're telling you to be present. Do you think it's by by by coincidence that human comes from two words? Man, which means thinker, and hum, which means comes from the word humus? Humus? Ground. Ground. Why do you think when you've been humiliated? You see, and we've been doing a little wordplay. I'm flexing a little bit. I'm playing with y'all right now. I'm flexing on right now. Humiliation comes from the word humus. Humiliation means to pull down, to ground you. Why do you think when you feel humiliated, you feel like somebody's just pulled you down? That's not a bad thing. Humility, there it is again. Humous grounding. So when I'm telling you that you are a human, you were supposed to be grounded in the now moment. The now moment. If you ain't now, you ain't living. If you ain't now, you ain't living. Should that be a meme? I don't know. But if I'm not now, I'm not actually living. So the real goal is to be alive now. The real goal is to wake up feeling present, to wake up feeling free, to wake up feeling authentic. So freedom is your highest state. If you want to you want to become a performer, be free. That that is the optimal performance state. Being free. Peace isn't the reward, though. Peace isn't the reward of being you free being free. Peace is the path. It's the path. If I'm free, if I'm present, peace will be what I walk along. That's won't be what I walk with. So here's the deal. The heeled version of you ain't nothing special about you. The healed version of you is not some special version. The healed version of you is just simply you. It's you. It's you. Alpha Buzz said it. It's me. Do you not find for one coincidental moment there was a reason why when she was falling and she wanted to, she wanted to fly, and when she was falling and she looked in the building at the end scene and she saw that little version of her, that little girl with those little glasses. Good God Almighty.

SPEAKER_00 16:14

Hmm?

SPEAKER_03 16:15

You see, when she was falling and she saw that version of her, that, my friends, was humus. She was being grounded. She was being pulled back down. She had to come back down to see this version of her that was keeping her from being present. She was still living out of the old little girl who was being bullied and tortured. And now, once she saw herself in that reflection and she fully acknowledged it, that version of her was healed. And now you're free. You're free. What'd she do after that? She flew up to the clouds, and there was nothing else up there but her and herself. Do you see the process of ascension? But if you become so fixated on healing, you're never going to realize that healing was just a practice, but the goal was to be, to just be.

Permission To Love And Risk

SPEAKER_03 17:11

So, for everybody here this episode, the reason why I want to do this for you. The greatest tragedy isn't that you won't heal certain things. The greatest tragedy is that you heal certain things and you still don't give yourself permission to live. You don't give yourself permission to be. You don't give yourself permission to step into the new life and just be it. You didn't do all yeah, and here's the deal: you haven't been doing all this work, and you don't do all this work just so you can spend the rest of your life psychoanalyzing yourself. You do the work so you can just simply be it. You're doing this work so you can love harder. You're doing this work so you can laugh harder, so you can create bigger, so you can trust deeper, so you can you can live completely free. I was talking to a client of mine, and she was going through a relationship and there was a breakup. And it's been really hard for her. It's been really challenging. And she's afraid now that if she gets in another relationship, she may get her heart broken. She may feel this pain again, right? This is normal, normal human emotion. So now she's holding on to the old. Even though you can see clearly that the old maybe it has served its purpose. I said, you know what the goal of life is? The goal of life is to get your heart broken just a little bit more. Because if you got your heart broken, guess what? I'm gonna say it. If you got kids, it's okay, it's just a word. You loved your ass off. You loved hard. You loved hard. This is what you came here to do. If I played basketball and I rolled my ankle and I sprained it, and I was playing hard, and now I'm getting back and I'm it it's somewhat healed, but now I still have the memories of ruining my ankle. Now I'm playing scared. I don't I won't jump. I won't go around people, I won't really play. No, go get your ankle rolled again. Go play just as hard as you did the first time when it happened. Go. Because eventually, eventually, eventually, the game's gonna be over. And what you don't want to do is get to the end and say, I wish I had loved me a little bit more. I wish I would have been just a little bit more kind to myself. I wish I would have just taken time to just say, wow, look at what I've done. I wish I would have held hands with my spouse when we would go for walks just a little bit more. I wish I would have just said I love you and given you a kiss or given him a hug without needing a reason.

SPEAKER_00 20:03

You see? So for everybody here. Go live. Live live live hard. Live full.

SPEAKER_03 20:20

Live now. Go. And I promise you this, you ready? I'm gonna just leave you with this.

SPEAKER_00 20:30

If you can live fully now, you will be free.

SPEAKER_03 20:44

And when you're free, you're at peace. And when you're at peace, you do everything with joy. And when you do everything with joy, you become the epitome of love. And when you become the epitome of love, you will only see love in this world. And when I see love in somebody else, I now become a reflector for them to see the love in themselves. And even though you may curse me and throw stones at me, I can still love you. I can still accept you. And even though you have different beliefs, I can still see you for what you actually are, even though you can't see yourself for what you are. And then guess what ends up happening?

Love Others Without Controlling Them

SPEAKER_03 21:39

Slowly but surely, may not be in your lifetime. We make this world a better place. You left the home better better than when you came in it. Huh? Think about when you sell a house. Anybody here has ever sold a house, the goal of the house is to make money off of it, right? The goal of the house is to upgrade. It and make it better than what it was when you came in here. Is that not the same thing that we were supposed to do as human beings? We come in, we come in, we come into the world and we trash it. We trash it in the leaf. No, you were supposed to make it better than what it was. And every time that you make yourself better, you make it better. Now imagine if we did this. Imagine if we did this. I don't know. I mean, I guess it's part of the divine makeup of this world, but I don't know if there would be so much conflict. I don't know if there would. Think about it. I'ma say something that's gonna be a hot take. I'ma say something that's gonna be a hot take, but I don't give a f I don't care. I really don't care. I still think it's crazy that we're in 2026 and that people hate each other. Because somebody else doesn't live their life the way you want to. I think that's wild. I think it's wild. I drove by a house the other day that had a f uh like a flat bunch of flags. Have a bunch of flag, all types of stuff in their yard. I said, you I don't know what's going on here, but they had all types of stuff. You know, they were getting ready for this UFC fight, right? This UFC 250, whatever it is at the at the White House. And they had something up, and it was talking about basically the uh LGBTQ community. And it had guns and stuff, and it was very negative.

SPEAKER_00 23:31

And I said to myself, we're still living in a society that we care about what somebody else does in their bedroom. That's wild.

unknown 23:44

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 23:44

I'm I'm yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 23:45

I'm I'm I'm I'm projecting for sure 1000%, but I'm doing with awareness. But my point of this is imagine if we saw an individual and said, look, what you do behind closed doors and what you do with your life, that is your prerogative. That's what you do, you do, it's your life, it's your existence. You do with it, what do you want? And we just loved. I don't have to agree, but I can still love you. You see? What if we just did that? What if we did that to the people to the left of you, to the right of you, to the front of you, and the back of you? What if you just did that and then those people did that? Do you know what this world

Seeing Real Pain Behind The Screen

SPEAKER_03 24:24

would look like? I was sitting there playing Call of Duty with my son the other day. Call of Duty, right? Probably not the best game. I don't know, right? But look, I'm human. And we're we were like going through a stage, a board, and there was like bombs and stuff going off, and like there was like women and children crying, and he was like, This is crazy. I stopped the game. I said, You do realize that this is happening somewhere in the world right now. This is real. People are living. And he looked at me and he was like, What? I said, Yes. This is real. I said, This is why I teach you and your sister. This is why me and your mother are always teaching you to see yourself, to love yourself. Because you will, if you love yourself, you will only see love in somebody else. So when someone swings on you, you won't swing back. You'll duck and you'll give them a hug. Because you realize in that moment that's really what they needed. I'm just playing. You better make sure you defend yourself. But when you're done, give them a hug.

Choosing Compassion In Real Life

SPEAKER_03 25:26

I told you the story when I saw a guy breaking into my car one time. Caught him red-handed, breaking into my car. I went up to him and I said, at this moment, I got a choice. I got a choice. I can either, we can, I can tear you apart, or I can see you for what you actually are right now. And see the universe is so divine. He was breaking in my car because he didn't have much. And then at that moment, I was in a similar predicament because I had just came from Florida and I was living with my in-laws, so I knew what it felt like to not have what you felt like was enough. And I knew exactly what it felt like. And walked up to him. I said, Man, what's going on? He's like, I wasn't, I wasn't, I said, I just watched you. I literally sat from the house and watched you and didn't decide to come out until I saw you actually trying to get in. And he looked at me with tears in his eyes. He said, Yeah, I'm just hungry. I was just trying to find some money. I said, What's your name? And I don't remember his name. He told me his name.

SPEAKER_01 26:24

He said, Man, I just got out of jail, man. I'm hungry, man.

SPEAKER_03 26:29

I don't know if it was true or not at that moment, but that wasn't any of my business. My business was to embody the things that I strive to heal to be love, peace, joy, freedom. So I said, I looked at him, I said, Well, if you're hungry, don't take money from me. How about I get you something to eat? My son was sitting there watching. My daughter was watching. They were six and four at the time. They were watching. I came running in the house and they were like, What are you doing? I was like, hold on. It just so happened that my mother-in-law, she was cooking one of our honey-baked hams. She had some honey-baked ham, some mashed potatoes, and some rolls. Well there got him a hot plate. This man cried and said, Thank you. I asked him his name one more time. He told me his name. I said, All right, Carly, go ahead. Carly's really good at investigating work. She goes on Facebook, she can find somebody in 10 minutes. She she carly can give him a name. All she needs is a first name. She don't even need a last name. She'll find you on Facebook in a heartbeat. Some of us laughing because you know you do the same thing. I think it must be a woman thing. I think women know how to. They just, they just they could, they like some bloodhounds. They can sniff it out, right? She wants to find this guy, and before you know it, she came back. She was like, Well, I found him. His name is blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Blah, blah, blah. He was just let go today at 12.03 p.m. from W County Jail. And I said, What in the world? He really did just get out of jail. And now the story changed. This man didn't want to take from anybody. He was in survival mode. He was in survival mode. So my job was to embody the complete opposite of survival in that moment. Do you see? Do you see how this works, y'all? I hope I'm giving y'all, I hope, I hope what I'm telling you isn't just going in and you're gonna listen to it while you're cutting the grass. You're gonna listen to it when you go for a run, you're gonna listen to it. I hope you are like actually embodying what I'm telling you. Because somebody's gonna take something from you. Somebody's going to do something to you. In that moment, ask yourself, what do I need to be? Who do I need to be? Don't meet them back with the same energy that they had. Somebody bomb me, I'm gonna bomb them back. Well, you bomb me, I'll bomb you first. Remember when our parents used to always tell us two wrongs don't make a right? I can't meet you with the same energy that you met me with and think that we gonna have a solution. Ain't gonna happen. That's lower awareness right now. So for you out there, if you hear me, just be it. Just be it. Just be the healing. Just be it. Keep healing, but be the healing. Be it. And I promise you, I will meet you at the top. I'll be right there waiting for

Join The DG Mindset Academy

SPEAKER_03 29:05

you. If you're if if if you're ready to take that next leap, if you feel like I'm ready to like be it, I want to, then come on inside of the DG Mindset Academy where this is this is the energy that has been draped all within it. It's about just being it. And maybe you don't really know how to be it. Well, come on in. We'll teach you how. I promise you, I will teach you. There's enough. There's master classes, there's recordings. Every, every every single call, and I get on twice a week. Every live call that I've ever done is in there right now. So you can go in there and get started. It's like podcasts. Get in there and stuff. Go get go ahead and watch. Watch all of them. And here's the deal: anything I ever create in terms of like PDF files, uh, I got a lot of stuff that I like to create. I get in Canva and I get busy. I ain't gonna lie, I get busy in Canva. Everything I've ever created is inside of there. I got my book list in there. And guess what? There's a community in there that is waiting for you. Waiting for you. When I tell you they are waiting for you, Miss Tish Clark Brown, Miss Maria, my brother Sal, they are waiting to embrace you with open arms. Get your butt in there. And watch how much you grow. I bet that's one thing I don't have to worry about. If you if you really do the work, if you really am, you will grow. I promise you that. Why? Because we're about that life. That's it. Ain't we about talking about it, we're just gonna be about it. So keep going. And as always, I wish you nothing but the best on the pathway to your results.