The Pathway To Your Results

Healing The Three Inner Child Archetypes

• Derick Grant • Season 5 • Episode 226

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We break down Carl Jung’s three inner child archetypes and show how they script adult perception, confidence, and relationships. We share a practical path to heal the wounded child, discipline the eternal child, and liberate the divine child so you can live as your sovereign self.

• Jung’s model of the inner child and individuation
• How childhood imprints shape trust, safety and self-worth
• The divine child as source of intuition, joy and creativity
• The wounded child driving people-pleasing and overachievement
• The eternal child avoiding responsibility and accountability
• Pain as a portal to progress and regulation
• The three-part formula: heal, discipline, liberate
• Rewriting your life script by revisiting past narratives


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SPEAKER_00:

Once you see what you actually are, that you're an infinite, limitless being, you'll see that nothing exists outside of you. I'm your host, Derek Grant, and this is the Pathway to Your Results Podcast.

unknown:

Bro.

SPEAKER_01:

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Pathway to Your Results Podcast. It is your boy DG. We are here live and in an effect. I just wanted to break some stuff down to you today. Um, we haven't talked about this, we haven't touched on it, but I've been, I've been, I've been back on my reading kick, I've been back on my learning groove, I guess you can say. And I know whenever this happens, there's an expansion that's taking place. There is a uh an evolution that's happening, a transformation that's happening. And you can usually, and this maybe this is the case for you as well, you go into this mode where you just want to seek information, you just want to pull in knowledge, you just want to extract wisdom. And um, I know whenever this happens, that's because there is a caterpillar that is uh, as we would say, fitting to be born. It's just it's sorry, it's fitting to get up on the on the branch so the butterfly can be born. And and and this is you know kind of the stage I'm in right now, if I'm being if I'm being honest, if I'm being transparent, as I've done always with this podcast. I'm always just sharing my life with you all. But I just wanted to sit here and take some time to break down this thing a little bit more, but from Dr. Carl Jung's uh perspective, this thing that we call the inner child. I don't know what happened. You know how synchronicities happen sometimes, and you're doing something before you know it, you go on YouTube and a video pops up and you're like, what is this? And then you start watching the video and you feel like the video's talking to you, and you're like, wait a minute, I was just thinking about this. Well, this is what ended up happening. I was I was doing something else on YouTube, and then this video popped up after I'd finished looking at what I needed to watch on YouTube, and it was Carl Jung or his philosophy, and he was talking about the inner child. And he was breaking down really what the inner child was, and uh, you know, the the the way it was done. It was, it was, I mean, he was obviously a pioneer in his field, and especially in psychology, but he broke it down to there's three types. This inner child, that there's there's three parts of an inner child that are within all of us, right? And when we say the inner child, it's the psychological imprint from our emotional experiences. So then what ends up happening is these emotional experiences create an autonomous personality inside of us, inside of our psyche as adults. So now it has its own fears, it has its own stories, it has its own emotional needs. And here's the issue: the inner child becomes our lens of perception of how we interpret the world. So now we're not looking at the world from the self-worth of a 45-year-old. We're looking at the world from the self-worth of a nine-year-old who is rejected and who was abandoned. So what ends up happening is how we perceive, excuse me, how we perceive danger, uh, safety, uh, our ability to trust people, relationships and attachments. I'm not gonna go on this podcast on this right now, but some of us, some of us, some of us thought we were adults, but we were children dating other children. And I'm not gonna get into that. That's a whole nother episode, but y'all get what I'm drip, what I'm going at. But more importantly, what I see so often, especially in my own life, our confidence and our self-belief is attached to this inner child. But we think, oh, I'm an adult. You look at yourself in the in the mirror, I'm an adult, but we don't realize, like, no, you are looking at it through the lens. You have the glasses, you have the meta glasses on of a child who was broken, a child who didn't understand or get what it needed emotionally. So now here you are as an adult with them same rusty, dusty meta glasses on. And this is why we have to clean the lens. I had somebody, I posted a video yesterday, and somebody's like, you don't need to heal, just get caught up in the hamster wheel, and you need you, you just you end up staying in this loop. And I'm sitting here saying to myself, you saying that sounds like you need to do some healing. And what do you say? The one the one who said you don't need to heal, be the ones who need to heal the most. See, they're about to get me going now. I ain't gonna have to do it now. They go about me, we're about to go down below the bowel belt, start preaching here. When you start to understand that this is literally the unconscious part of your mind that is creating your life, it's literally creating your life. So Dr. Carl Jung taught that every human's purpose is individuation, becoming your true, authentic, sovereign self. This is what every human being was unconsciously striving for. We were striving for this as children. I got two kids. My kids are doing all they can to be who they are. Sometimes I gotta be like, hey, well, you know, can't really just sit here and eat ice cream before you go to bed. You can't do that now. Let's let's because you're gonna have me up all night, and then I'll be up all night, and then you're gonna see my inner child come out tomorrow. And that is not what we need in this household. But my point of this is we are constantly seeking to get back to our true self. Why? Why? Somebody tell me why. Because there's parts of your psyche from your childhood, the true self, that were the blueprint for the version of you who would create the life that it wanted. The version of you who lived from the place of dreaming, the version of you who was unbelievably creative, who was grounded, who was connected to its intuition, who was capable of love, who was confident in who it was. This version of you from the past, we got fractured, we left them behind. And this is what it means to become whole. We got to go back and get those fractured shards. Think of it like this: you were a mirror. And then we took that mirror and we shattered it on the ground. And each shard, each piece of that glass is what we would call your inner child. And you are on a journey to pick up each little piece and tape it back together. Now, some of the pieces, the big chunks, that's easy. Oh, I know what this is from. Yeah, daddy left when I was 10 and this happened, and mom did this. Okay, I got that. But then those little shards, sometimes those are difficult. And then here's what ends up happening your little shards or your mirror are the reflection in other people's lives. So they see their shards. They didn't realize, oh wow, I got a little piece that I left behind. And you are the mirror that is bringing that up in their life. So the reason why I'm saying this, when you understand how this works, you have to go back and do this healing work. If, if you want to improve the quality of your life, if you want to create your life from a place of sustainability. I have a buddy of mine who always says, yeah, but don't we, don't we just got to get out of our own way? Yeah, you can get out of your own way, but you best believe you will get yourself back in your own way if you don't do this work. There's a reason why we had to go into the dark. There's a reason why the womb is dark when we're inside of our mother. It's not light. There's no light inside of it. We have to go back to the dark parts because that's where the origins are, that's where the uh uh the beginning stages of us where we left ourselves, that's where it started at. So Carl Jung broke down and basically broke them down into three archaeotypes, these three inner children, these three inner childs, okay? So I'm gonna I'm gonna go through each one so you can understand, right? So we have type one, which is the divine child. This is the healthy part of you, okay? This is the part of you that was curious, that's imaginative, that's joyful, it's uh connected to the source of life, uh, the creative side of you, the trusting side of you, the spontaneous side of you. For what I'm what I have found, this is the version of us before we went into the public school system, before you went into school when you were pure, five, four, sometimes six years old, right? But here's the beauty of it. This divine child inside of you is the seed of potential. That's why we say just dream. Dream. This is the part of your psyche that remembered its wholeness. This is the part of your psyche that wasn't like, oh, well, I can't do that because nobody in my family has ever done that. Or I can't do that because that's too much money. Why I can't do this because nobody who looks like me has ever done this. This is the part of you that dreamed. So in adulthood, here's what ends up happening with this divine child. This becomes your seed of purpose. This is where you tap into your intuition. This is where all your creativity is. When you have that vision, you have that dream, you have that idea, and you're like, I'm gonna start this business or I'm gonna build this product. Your ability to play, your ability to give yourself what you need, the wonderment. I remember when I had my first mushroom ceremony. The wonderment that I felt, the curiosity that I felt, this was the divine child. And this divine child, if you really want to keep it 100, there's a reason why it's called divine, because this is where your true spiritual connection was. This is the part of you that knew nothing other than connection to source. But here's what ends up happening when this child is suppressed in you, okay? When you become an adult and you suppress this, you become super rigid, you become super logical, super linear, overly serious. You become disconnected from joy. And then here's what ends up happening. We need something else to create joy. Excuse me, happiness. That is the difference between happiness and joy. Happiness is something that you had to produce because you had suppressed this divine child inside of you. So now I'm happy when my bank account looks good. I'm happy when business is rolling in. I'm happy when my spouse is looking at me and smiling. But you see, that is a disconnection from joy because we're suppressing this divine child. And then here's what ends up happening. Because we're living from the logical linear mind, aka the ego, now we have to control every situation. So you know what we hate? We hate uncertainty. We hate not knowing. Do we not realize that uncertainty is literally the best part of life? What's your favorite movie? Okay, that was your favorite movie. Okay, I don't know what you said. Maybe something something I've seen, probably something I haven't seen. I'm not even gonna lie, I ain't seen that many movies, unless it was Interstellar. Okay. I'm gonna tell you this. You ready? Unless you're like me. You probably didn't go watch that movie more than two times. Why? Because you knew what the ending was. You already knew what it was. Do you know how boring life would be if you knew what tomorrow was gonna be like? Think about it. Some of us don't even know what we're gonna eat for dinner tonight. I know I don't. I don't know what I'm gonna eat for dinner, but I know I'm gonna eat. So I say this because uncertainty is the beauty of life. This is where you get to experience the game. Remember, we used to go to Blockbuster all my 80s babies? Remember Blockbuster video? Blockbuster video! Wow, what a difference! Y'all remember that? Man, I used to couldn't wait to go rent. If I did good in school that week, my mom would be like, we go to Blockbuster, you get one game. Now I like Blockbuster. You could, you because you could rent it on Friday and have to bring it back on Sunday. But when I'd go to the little Rinky Dink major video, the little local joint, the mom and pop, you rent it on Friday. That thing better be back by Saturday. So I like Blockbuster video, but my point of this is you remember the feeling of you getting a new game or a new movie that you rented because you had never experienced it before? This was the divine child in all of us. So the reason why I'm saying this is because your divine child, this child, this inner child inside of you that was so pure, this was the blueprint for who you were always meant to become. Do you hear what I'm saying? And this is what we're doing. Some of our, some of us adults right now, we need to start tapping into this divine child. This is the journey I've been on. I'm trying to become more like my divine child self and see how much of that I can be in this world. But here's what ends up happening. Most of us we live from the uh the type two, the wounded child, aka the shadow child. See, this was the child that was ignored. This was the child that was shamed. This was the child that was judged. This was the child that was compared. This was the child that was yelled at, invalidated, and made to feel unsafe. This was the version of us that were pushed to perform or please. And then here's what ends up happening. We unconsciously live in the shadows of this version of us. And here's how it shows up as you in a in an adult. We're doing it right now in the DG Mindset Academy. We're learning, we're learning, we're in the class unstoppable. You become a people pleaser. You are terrified, absolutely mortified of rejection. Your fear of abandonment is like you'd rather, you'd rather be in a cage with a tiger than to be abandoned. Now, I see this in the athletic world. We talk about Michael Jordan and Tom Brady and all these great athletes. I said, man, he's really, they did all this through the wounded child. Because you know what one of the byproducts of this is when you live as an adult? Overachievement. Overachievement. I'm looking to become and do everything. Why? So I can make up for this part of me that was ignored, that was shamed, that was judged, that was looked over. If we look at we can look at Michael Jordan, I don't know Mike personally. I know people who know Mike, but look at Michael Jordan when he was inducted to the Hall of Fame. And we all know the story, Michael Jordan. Michael Jordan, when he was in 10th grade, was cut from varsity. He wouldn't put on varsity in 10th grade. And that led a fuel in him. So much to the point where this became a narrative. When he got inducted into the Hall of Fame, you know what he did? He brought the person who they kept on the team in 10th grade, who made the team over varsity. He brought him to his Hall of Fame induction and was roasting him. Absolutely roasted him. You see, you see how it worked out. Y'all kept him over me. Now look, this I was sitting here watching, like, this is his shadow. This is the wounded child. This is the shadow child that was looked over and now look at me. Look what I've done. Now, I don't know Mike personally, but when you live through the shadow child, the pain that it feels becomes unbearable. And we usually have to pick up things to numb ourselves out from it. Could be in the form of alcohol, could be workaholism, substance abuse, doesn't matter what it is. This is what's happening. This is why we do this. So now what ends up happening is these wounds from this version of us, they end up becoming the bar the guardian of our unconscious mind. So they stand between you and your truest self. But here's what happens when you heal this, and this is where the real work is. This is why I tell you, sometimes you got to put that mask on and become like Bane from the Dark Knight from Batman. Sometimes you got to go into the dark. I was born in it, molded by it, adopted by it. You want me to keep going? I can keep going if you want me to. No, I'll go ahead and stop. I ain't gonna do that. But you get what I'm saying. Sometimes you gotta be able to go into those dark places. I'm telling you, if you develop a relationship with pain from this perspective and remind yourself that every time that there is pain tucked up underneath that is my progress. If I can go and touch the pain, if I can deal with it, that's where the progress is. I started working back out. We've been moving and busy and I'm traveling and everything. So I told my son, I said, Look, you gotta start getting up in the morning again. We got to get back working out. So it's been a while. And he said, Man, Dad, I'm so sore. I said, You know why you're sore. You know why you're sore. You got to feel it if you're gonna do something. That just means there was change. There was an opportunity for transformation. So I was telling him how hard it is sometimes when you take a break to get back in it. But when you develop a relationship with the pain and you remind yourself, this is just my opportunity for growth. Now, when you go into those dark places, when you you have a completely different mindset going back into your wounds, going back into those shadows. But this is where the sovereign you is. This is where the confident you is. This is where the version of you who can become emotionally regulated. Now you ain't triggered out the wazoo because you have healed and dealt with that version of you who's living in the shadows. This is the version of you where you feel safe within. So the reason why I'm saying this is for you to understand that this wounded child, the shadow child within you, it's not your weakness. It's actually just the doorway to your strength. But so many of us run from it because we feel the pain of being abandoned. We feel the pain of being invalidated. I'm just telling you, if you can go and sit with it, if you can go and uh uh give it what it needs, this is where the breakthrough happens. The breakthrough. Now you're seeing in our world right now, I just can't, and I don't, I don't, I don't get into it. I I know no, I know just enough so I can have a surface conversation with somebody, but you look at everything that's going on in our world, especially in our world. I'm gonna just keep a United States. I can't speak for the world. I can only speak for what's going on in our in our country. And you look at what's going on, especially on the political front, and it's really hard to watch, actually. It's actually kind of hard to sit here and watch adults acting like, excuse my friends, they ain't got no goddamn sense. I don't know how else to say it. You mean to tell me we are raising a generation by the behaviors of what we are doing as adults. But here's what you got to realize: some of us adults that we see, we ain't adults. We call what Carl Jung would describe as the eternal child or the uh the pure eternus. This is the adult child that Young warned us about. Yeah, we adulting as kids right now. Some of us we we some of us we more kids. I'm gonna give you some of the characteristics, and you don't tell me, you don't tell me that you don't know somebody. Maybe you don't know them personally, but you see them on TV and it sounds like this. They avoid responsibility. Hmm? You want me to keep going? I'll keep going. Some of us might know somebody, some people like this close to us. They avoid accountability, they stay dependent, they want life to be easy. They chase after big things, intensity. They avoid commitment, they lack discipline, develop unrealistic uh uh expectations. You ready? Spiritually bypass their wounds, move in this victim mentality, refuse to grow up. And then here's what ends up happening in adulthood. What why or how that manifests now? Now they blame everybody else, constantly pointing fingers at somebody else. Well, you didn't do this. Well, she should have done that. Well, if they hadn't done this, then and it's always someone else, and they're blaming someone with the intention of avoiding consequences, or here's what ends up happening it don't finish what they start like a child. It won't finish it. Start something, won't finish it, or try to float their way through life, and would rather freedom than responsibility. So, why am I saying this to you all? Because this is the version of us that keeps us from becoming the kings and queens that we were truly capable of being. This is the version of us that stops us from really stepping into our power. So I want you to think about these three versions of us. We have the divine child, we have the wounded child, we have the eternal child. The divine child is your potential. Okay? The wounded child is your triggers. The eternal child is your patterns. Do we see how this works? So I have to make sure that I realize that there is a divine child inside of me. I have to deal with the wounded child, and that will start to change the eternal child. And then once I do that, I can now integrate the divine child. And now here's the beauty of it all. You ready? In order to integrate all three of them, you're gonna have to do these three things with each one of them, okay? The wounded child, you must heal it. You must heal it. And I already gave you the framework seven laws of healing in a child. Okay? You're welcome. Number two, you're going to have to exercise discipline with the eternal child. You're going to have to be the disciplinarian. You're going to have to be the one and say, you know what? Get yourself together. Stop it. Matter of fact, finish this. You finish this. You know how sometimes it is. My mom used to tell me, she used to, I wish I had some stories. Matter of fact, my mom's come out here in a couple days. Maybe I have her on the podcast. Maybe that's what I need to do. That's what I will do. We will do an episode. I don't know if she's going to be as entertaining as me. I can get her going if we need to. But she ain't maybe she may not be as as uh uh uh media trained as me, but you will, it will still be entertaining to say the least. But she used to have to discipline me and tell me, get yourself together. You know when when when the parents uh grit their teeth, you know what I'm talking about? When you know, you know my dad bites his tongue. My dad would bite his tongue, my mom would grit her teeth. And when they did that, and my mom, she would open her eyes when she would be like, you would see the wide of her eyes, he'd be like, oh, she ain't playing. I need to get my stuff together. She used to always tell me, don't you she have to wake me up in the morning, right? She wouldn't. She's like, I'm not walking upstairs. I'm gonna call you two times, and that's gonna be it. And I wouldn't get up. I would hear her, but I wouldn't get up and I wouldn't answer. And she used to say, Don't you let me have to come upstairs? Well, I think she came up one time and she never came up after that again. Never again. That was I learned. But my point of this is we need to do that with the child inside of us as well. Don't you think that you're gonna get back in that relationship? Don't you think you're gonna stay dependent on something that you know is misaligned. Don't you keep going back now. We need to be able to discipline this eternal child. And then here's what ends up happening with the last one: the divine child, we need to liberate it. We need to liberate it. See, when you do these three things, where you heal the wounded inner child, you discipline the eternal child, and you liberate the divine child, this, my friends, is literally the formula for becoming sovereign. This is how you do it. So we got to understand this is why you have to go back because the inner child is the one who wrote the script. You, as an adult, is the one who's acting it out. May I say this again? Some of us are actresses and actors, and we didn't even realize that we were. But the problem is you go to funky script back way back in the day, and you didn't even know that you wrote it. You didn't even know that you wrote it. Somebody else may have been holding the pen. Sorry, you've been holding the pen, but somebody else would have moving your hand around. So this is why it's super important for us to go back. Because if we don't heal this child inside of us, here's what's gonna end up happening. You're gonna repeat the childhood that you thought you survived. And all we're doing is walking around with this dead carcass. I don't care who you are, your wounded child is gonna be the one who holds the pain, but the divine child inside of you is the one who has the potential, and that's what we're trying to get back to. Why do you think Jesus told you to be more childlike? Why do you think he said the greatest in heaven were child, chill was the child? The divine aspect of you, the divine child, which is eternal, that the the real you, the one whose spirit said, This is what I want to become, that version of you, she's still here. He's still here. This is what creates everything in our world. So I'll leave you with this.

SPEAKER_00:

The key.

SPEAKER_01:

The key is for you to be able to go back in time. Become a time traveler. People ask me why I don't wear a watch. I'm just kidding, nobody asks that, but I'm pretending people do. Why don't you wear a watch? Because I don't want to get caught up in time. I don't want to get caught up in it. I got a cell phone, I look at that occasionally, but I don't want to get caught up in time. Because I know that all versions of me exist right now. If I sit here and get caught up in time, now I think for some reason that that version of me from the quote unquote past isn't still here. This is why I keep telling you, this is why y'all are gonna see it to the day I leave this earth, and even when I leave, there's enough content out there. My voice and my content will reign for eternity. You will always see when life is mental shirt. Because this is where life was happening. All your wounds, all your issues, all your suffering, all your emotional pain, everything is happening on the mental plane. So this is why it's super important for us to realize that we gotta go back. We got to go back. And for people who say, Well, I don't want to get on the hamster wheel, you ain't gotta get on the hamster wheel. You ain't gotta get on the hamster wheel, but you do gotta get on the hamster wheel. You ain't gotta stay on it. But occasionally you gotta go back. Let me say this: you don't have to go back. But don't you send me no DM talking about you can't figure out why you can't change your life. I'm telling you right now, you gotta go back. You gotta change the story. You gotta go back and tell a different narrative. I gotta go back and have conversations with people who I feel like have wronged me. I gotta go back. And I gotta tell a different story. And only then, only then will you change this thing that we call the future. So go back and do the work. Don't do it for anybody else, do it for yourself. I'm telling you, this is literally all I've done. This is it. Look at you know, quality as a parent, quality as a husband, quality as an entrepreneur, quality as just a human being. Everything has increased substantially because I have gone back and identified each part of these three w these three children inside of me. That's it. So keep going, y'all. Please and thank you. And remember, I wish you nothing but the best on the pathway to your results.