The Pathway To Your Results
Hosted by Derick “DG” Grant, this weekly show guides you through the powerful intersection of mindset, spirituality, and performance. DG unpacks how to break free from limiting beliefs, heal your inner child, and align energetically with your greatest vision. Through personal stories, practical exercises, and metaphysical insights, each episode offers you a clear path to unlocking your potential and living a life of true freedom, joy, and abundance.
The Pathway To Your Results
Ayahuasca with Jesus
Derick shares his transformative journey through three consecutive ayahuasca ceremonies where he confronted his tendency to live in survival mode and discovered how self-sabotage keeps us trapped in fear-based patterns.
• Three consecutive ayahuasca ceremonies revealed progressively deeper layers of consciousness
• The medicine showed Derick how he unknowingly stays in survival mode through people-pleasing and seeking external validation
• Jesus (the ceremony guide) asked penetrating questions that revealed how Derick's need for acceptance creates a survival pattern
• Physical purging during ceremonies represented the release of old survival patterns and programming
• The medicine revealed how self-sabotage keeps us in survival mode even when things are going well
• Visions of a Black Panther symbolized the ability to hunt down shadow aspects hiding in darkness
• The spirit of Kobe Bryant appeared with a message about legacy and moving beyond physical limitations
• The third ceremony culminated in a vision of a golden Jaguar representing illumined leadership
• Integration involves catching moments of self-sabotage and consciously choosing to move beyond survival patterns
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Once you see what you actually are, that you're an infinite, limitless being, you'll see that nothing exists outside of you. I'm your host, derek Grant, and this is the Pathway to your Results podcast Bro style framework with recorded masterclasses, live eight-week coaching courses that I personally teach and live Q&A coaching calls with me, plus a community that is built for growth. We're going to talk about entrepreneurship, money, healing, performance, mindset, growth everything that life entails. The first semester begins November 3rd, but you can start right now. Join today at dgmindsetcom. That's dgmindsetcom and I will see you inside. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Pathway to Results podcast. It is your boy, dg.
Speaker 1:Look, I've been waiting to do these podcast episodes. You know, you all know, my workflow. I like to do podcasts four, three, four at a time. I haven't done a podcast since I came back. Now you're asking where we came back, from, where I'm on a journey right now. I'm not even gonna lie to you. I'm gonna go ahead and be honest with you. I'm a journey. I'm on a journey to figure out myself at a new depth, another depth. If we look at it like an ocean, right the surface, there's a difference between being at the surface and when you go down 500 feet. There's different creatures that live at 500 feet. I love watching Discovery Channel. I love watching David Attenborough. You're watching these wildlife things and you see that dang, how come the creatures at the surface look different than the creatures that are 500 feet below? How come these ones at 500 feet below, where they don't see sun, they look a little bit. They look a little different than the pretty little dolphins at the surface that we see break into service? How come? Because there's new depths, there's a different frequency. So I told you, I made the commitment to myself I'm going to go to another level, not for anybody else, but for myself. I want to figure out me on a deeper level. I've been on this journey here for a little bit. I've been on this journey trying to figure out me consciously, I'd say probably for the last six years. So I've told myself what does it take? So I say I haven't done a podcast since I got back. I'm in a three ceremonies in a row Now. Up until this point, you know I've done one-day ceremonies, I've done back-to-back ceremonies, but I'm here to tell you this. Okay, I'm going to go ahead and say this for anybody, and I've never done four. I know people have done four, three ceremonies. Is the difference between those creatures that you see at the surface of the ocean versus the ones you see 500 feet down? I've done two ceremonies, but then the third day, I'm like well, how much more can it be? Let me tell you something. Do you know the difference between a chicken and an egg? A chicken don't look nothing like an egg and an egg don't look nothing like a chicken. That was the difference between ceremony two and ceremony three.
Speaker 1:I'm going to break down why, on a deeper level, of course, but I'm going to tell you some of the things that I realized and I learned along this journey of these three days. Right, so I get down there and me and my boy, jesus, we just go to the jungle and we go sit and we talk. And Jesus, my son, asked me. He says, does Jesus speak English? I say, yeah, he speaks English, but his English is infused with medicine. And here's what I mean by that Anybody who's ever done any type of plant medicine. It softens you. This man's voice is so soft I can't hear a word. He's saying when we're out there in that jungle, the wind blowing, the trees, the ocean.
Speaker 1:So I told my son. I'm like, yeah, he speaks English, he speaks good English, but I just can't ever hear him. And I find myself just leaning in with my ear almost damn near at his mouth, trying to hear what he's saying. And then there are times when I have to translate okay, what did he just say? But then I'm scared to ask. The people pleasing on me is like no, don't ask him, because then we all been here before, but me and him were just sitting and talking. He was asking me all these questions and he was asking me what are my dreams? I said, I mean, I don't know, I couldn't dream, I couldn't express it at least. And then he asked me he goes what are you like? Like, what would you love to do? And I said well, if I had my way, I'd just keep doing this. I'll never stop what I'm doing, I'll do, I'll never and I these are my exact words. I said I'll never stop what I'm doing, I'll do, I'll never and I did my work exact words.
Speaker 1:I said I'll never retire. And he was like, okay, and I'm thinking he's asking these random questions. I'm like, first of all, jesus, why are you asking me these random questions right now? I thought we was gonna go ahead and do what we needed to do. When we do it like we do it, I thought we came here to do medicine, not for you to sit here and ask me all these random questions. So he's asking me these questions that seem random at the time and I have to say this to you that seem because there are things that happen in your life that seem random at that time. It's because you don't have yet the context, you don't have the experience, you haven't lived enough yet to see that this was actually not a question. It was actually an answer, but you had not yet lived enough life to be able to get the question, so you would have context to it. So he's asking me all these things and he said if you didn't have to worry about money, what would you do? I'm like, okay, well, here's what I would do. I'd probably go get my pilot's license. I'd probably go get my pilot's license. I like to fly. I'd probably go try. Anybody ever play flight simulator. Flight simulator, it can only take you so far. I like playing flight simulator, but it ain't the same as getting in a real plane.
Speaker 1:So I said I'd probably get my pilot's license. I said I would probably travel more. I'd take my family, I want to take my family all these places that I've seen and I experienced. I said you know what's funny? I take my kids to school every morning. We pass by a golf course and we pass by the golf course. They have like we're people getting lessons. And I'm like, oh, maybe I'll get lessons. I'll go take golf lessons. That's what I'll do. I'll take golf lessons and then I'll like I'll become so good at golf. Then I'll go on tour. I'll go on the senior tour and everybody be like, wow, what is the story? This guy and he's looking at me and I'm telling him all this and he goes but why, why, why can't you just play golf? Why do you have to now go on tour and be the best and be Tiger Woods? Why? And I'm like, what am I Jesus? That's a good question. I don't know.
Speaker 1:And he was asking me these questions and I unbeknownst to me. This is the beauty of this medicine, what he was doing right now. He was stirring up all the ingredients, all the things that had been sitting on the bottom inside of my subconscious that I was unaware of. He was stirring them up right now. He was like grandma, you know, when grandma's making that stew, she's making that gumbo and she's stirring it up and she'll take out the spoon and taste it just to make sure the season isn't hitting right. He was stirring it up inside of me and he asked me this next question. He goes what do you believe, do you trust, do you know that things are going to always be okay In me? With my Western perspective, I looked at him and said of course I do. You know that things are going to always be okay? And me, with my Western perspective, I looked at him and said of course I do. I know that everything's always going to work out.
Speaker 1:I know everything's always going to be fine. And he looks at me and he goes then why are you living in survival mode? Though I said hey, suze, don't you let me have to wrestle you out here in this jungle. You over here, touching wounds inside of me right now, you over here, keeping it 100. Just me and you in this jungle right now.
Speaker 1:Don't let me have to put you in a headlock real quick, what you doing over here, touching me in these wounds like this, and I said, oh my goodness. And before I could say anything, it was almost like touche, he got me. He looks at me with this and anybody who knows him knows Jesus. You don't really see him smile much, but when he smiles it is the purest things.
Speaker 2:He looks at me and he goes okay let's drink the medicine.
Speaker 1:Now. I said, okay, you're just going to do me like that, is that what you're going to do? Okay, so anyway, he comes out with these cups, right? Normally he gives these cups that he gives you the medicine. The cup is, like, I'd say, probably about three ounces, right, and I've done four cups, I've done six cups, but it's only about three ounces. He came and pulled out of his bag. He pulled out of his bag this cup.
Speaker 1:I don't think it was a cup, to be honest, with what they call those things. Um, oh goodness, those Stanleys. No, it wasn't a Stanley. It wasn't quite that big, it wasn't a Stanley, but it was one of those things called oh gosh, it's on the tip of my tongue, what are those cups called? It's for people who drink coffee I don't drink coffee A tumbler. He pulled out like a tumbler. That's what it was. And I'm like, I know he ain't about to fill up this whole thing to the top. I know he ain't about to fill up this whole thing to the top and I know he's not expecting me. Sure enough, he filled it up to the top and he gave it to me and he's just singing as he's handing it to me and, yeah, it was like tasted ayahuasca. You know that it is not going to be on your list of like if you're on death row. This ain't going to be part of your last meal. You ain't going to be like okay, well, I want a cup of. Let me give you some. I want some ayahuasca to drink. It does not taste all that well, all that great, right. So he gives me the cup and I'm drinking it and I said this is two of those other cups that he used to give and I'm taking it down. And it was so. I don't have to say it, it was nasty, it was nasty. I'm not even going to lie to y'all. I ain't going to say I'm always going to keep it 100%. It did not taste desirable, but I finally got it down. I said, okay, boom, got it down and he's still singing. I said, okay, boom, got it down and he's still singing. I said, okay, I got that down. That was probably about two cups of the normal amount.
Speaker 1:15 minutes passed and I'm just sitting there and I'm like, I'm sleepy, I'm going to go to sleep. So I took a little nap, a little cat nap, out there and I just, there was nothing. I'm not even going to lie to you, there was nothing I got. If I'm being, I got bored. I got bored.
Speaker 1:He was sitting behind me singing and he sings to a point and then he's like all right, I ain't going to sing, I'm just going to chill. And I kind of wake up and I roll over. I look at him. He's just sitting there staring at the ocean. I'm like I don't know what time it is, but nothing's really coming up and you can tell that the sun is kind of shifting. And I'm like oh, it's probably like four or five. I've probably been out here for like four or five hours, I don't.
Speaker 1:I felt a little nauseous, but I'm okay, I think I'm ready to go back. And he looks at me. He's like are you sure I go? Yeah, yeah, I'm sure. So we go back. He gets me to go back to the hotel and I know, I know I've done this enough I know that the medicine hasn't found what it's looking for.
Speaker 1:And here's what the medicine does. It looks for the part of you, good god almighty, that you've been running from it. Looks for the part of you, good God Almighty, that you've been running from it. Looks for the part of you that you have been putting off in the shadows. It looks for the part of you that you are afraid to face, and you know when it finds it? Because you start to get nauseous. I hadn't gotten nauseous yet. You know why. I hadn't gotten nauseous yet. Because I wouldn't surrender, I wouldn't just let go. I didn't really want to face the thing that I came there to face. So, anyway, I get back to my room and I had fasted. I hadn't eaten anything that day Leading up to it. I make sure I was really strict with my diet, right, so I hadn't eaten. I'm hungry as a hostage.
Speaker 1:At this point I'm like I got to eat something, but then, when I got back to the room, the medicine started to kick in. And the medicine started to kick in. I'm like I was on the third story. I'm like ain't, no way I'm going to walk down these steps. I'm going to walk down these steps. I'm going to slip and fall. I'm going to crack my skull open.
Speaker 1:Then somebody got to call my wife collect. Some of them had to call her collect, talking in Spanish, talking about he hit his head. He hit his head. I said I'm not even going to do it. So anyway, I figured out a way to get in contact with the front desk. I say, look, I know y'all don't do room service, but I'm going to go ahead and ask you. I need somebody to bring me something to eat because I'm about to. My stomach is touching my ribs right now. I need somebody to bring me something. I got some fruit and I start to eat this fruit and I'm just devouring it. Okay, I told my kids and my family when I got back. I said I was so hungry.
Speaker 1:At one point it was so quiet in that room I could hear myself eating. It sounded like my dog when he's eating his kibbles, when my dog is eating his food. It was just lips smacking, jowls flapping and I was like this fruit. Right now I don't even eat meat, but this fruit tastes like a filet mignon butterfly with crab Oscar on it for Ruth. Chris, this tastes so good right now it was just succulent. Right, I'm eating it.
Speaker 1:And then, all of a sudden, I could feel my body start to get quivery. I could feel myself like I'm like, oh boy, the medicine's kicking in Now. Mind you, I had not purged yet. Mother Aya said come on, now, it's time you got what you wanted. You got what you were looking for. You got you something to eat. Now it's time to deal with it. And I went and laid down. And I laid down, my eyes were closed, I started to get nauseous, started to get sick and I'm like what is this coming up inside of me? Then, all of a sudden, I just started to experience this thing that we call survival. When Jesus asked that last question, when he said why do you live in survival mode? See, I didn't realize. I live in survival mode. A lot of us don't. Why do you live in survival mode? See, I didn't realize.
Speaker 2:I live in survival mode. A lot of us don't realize that we live in survival mode.
Speaker 1:A lot of us don't really actually trust and know that we're going to get to where we're going to be, where we're supposed to go. We don't really trust it. We say it, we say it but we don't really act like it. And then I started to see how I actually do this. I started to see the constant living in the fear. I got to do this, I got to get this done and then, earlier, when I was talking with Jesus, he goes. You being an athlete, now you're conditioned. Everything is a competition, everything is a battle. What does battle do? It induces fear. Fear induces survival. Survival equals self-sabotage. So you will constantly do things to put yourself in positions so that way you will be living in fear, so you can live in survival mode. I had this all coming to me and then, all of a sudden, my stomach stopped hurting. You know, when you eat something and you say, my stomach hurts, but you're really not talking about your stomach, you're talking about your lower half. You're talking about the half that's going to come out the back door. You remember that. You know what I'm talking about. We got the one that's going to come out the front door, out the top, and then we got the one that's going to the part of us. The intestines are going to come out the back. All of a sudden my stomach started gurgling. I said, oh boy, I know what this is. This is the purge coming out the back door. So I If you squeamish I went to the bathroom for the first trip, okay, and the back door was open. The back door was open. I don't know who left it, but the back door was open and it came out. And it came out, and it came out. I went to that bathroom and somebody left that back door open. Twelve times, twelve times I was sitting on, as my daddy would say I was sitting on the 12 times I was sitting on and my daddy would say I was sitting on the commode, I was sitting on the stool and I'm like. At one point I was in the bathroom. I could hear myself saying what, the what is this? And I'm like the medicine's fully kicking in. I'm like, I'm just like Jesus, what did you give me? You gave me the 7-Eleven big gulp. But it has never done this. And I said to myself this is day one. How in the world are we going to do three days of this? I said there's no way. There's no way possible. I can do this for three days Now. Mind you, I don't know if anybody's ever been to Mexico Mexico, at least Tulum, does not have the sanitary system that we have in the United States, where you can flush toilet paper. You can't flush toilet paper, so they got a big, old, long trash can next to it, next to the toilet, and I'm over here. So I don't know who this maid is, I don't know who housekeeping is, but God bless her soul. Bless her soul. I'm sorry y'all. There's a point to it, trust me. And then, finally, I'm like okay, I'm done. I think I'm done. Now.
Speaker 1:Whatever was inside of me and then my intestines, it's gone. I'm like I got to eat. I was hungry again. So I sit down, I start eating. I had some rice, I had some beans. I'm eating that. And then, all of a sudden, I started to get nauseous. I'm like you got to be kidding me. I thought I got it all out with the 12 times. I went to the bathroom. No, then I purged. I was so nauseous sitting on was just like I just want it out. And Mother Aya says I need to know that you're going to stop living in survival. And at this point I'm just like. I promise you I'll stop. I will never live in survival again, please.
Speaker 2:I need to know that you're not going to live in survival anymore and at that point I just like I don't know what happened.
Speaker 1:I just surrendered and all of a sudden, purge threw up at the front door. Now here's what was interesting. Mind you, I just ate.
Speaker 2:I didn't throw up any food, only only the medicine came out.
Speaker 1:Only the medicine came out. Only the medicine came out, and I thought this was interesting. I thought all the contents of my stomach. I'm like I'm going to have to order something else to eat. No, no, no. Only the medicine came up and I started to see the divine orchestration and the divinity of this medicine. It knew what it needed to do and once it had done it, it was gone.
Speaker 1:Now I went and laid back down and this is when really the ceremony began. I could feel my body vibrating. I could feel my body like literally, I could feel every cell, the electricity flowing through it. And then, all of a sudden, my eyes were closed. I could see, I went to a completely different dimension.
Speaker 1:All of a sudden, I was a pilot of a spacecraft in like an intergalactic war. And I'm sitting here, a pilot, and I'm like well, maybe this is why I love being up, I love planes now and I pull into the hangar of the spaceship and I get out of the spaceship and I'm just like, and I'm sitting here watching. I'm like damn, he looked like he just came from war. And the medicine says this is the way your nervous system is processing everything when you're in survival. You're over here walking around, acting like you're in war right now.
Speaker 1:And then, all of a sudden, I started to see all these gnomes, all these little elves, these little workers. They're sitting here working like working on my body, and I'm like what are you all doing? They're like, what are y'all doing? They're like we're reprogramming your nervous system right now so you don't have to live in this fractured state. Now I'm not going to give you the whole run of the ceremony, because I got to get you to day three, but after day one I was so tired, I was exhausted. I knew a part of me had died. It literally had died A part of me I didn't even know existed. And I said to myself there ain't no way I'm going to do this two more days Ain't no way.
Speaker 1:So I have to say this I'm going to pause right now. Let's put this on the shelf. You ever been through something in your life and you said ain't no way. I can make it through nothing hard. This is the hardest thing I've ever been through. This is the most challenging thing I've ever been through.
Speaker 1:And you question, you look yourself in the mirror and you ask yourself how am I going to do this? How am I going to get up tomorrow? How in the world am I going to make these ends meet? How in the world am I going to make this marriage last? How in the world am I going to get to the next step?
Speaker 1:And I fell back on all my training I've been doing with myself and I said you ain't got to worry about these three days. All you got to do is focus on right now. Put one foot in front of the other. Just go ahead and focus on that. So I went ahead and woke up the next morning. If you could have seen me. I wish, I wish I had a camera crew following me around.
Speaker 1:I sat on the couch in my room and just stared at a tree for hours. I woke in the morning and Jesus wasn't coming to get me until 1030. I'd say probably about three hours. I just sat there and stared at a tree. The tree didn't say a word to me, it didn't talk to me. It wasn't mystical, it wasn't. I felt mindless, there was no thoughts. There was no thinking. I got to see Jesus later. I was like Jesus two questions. I just sat here and I couldn't think. He said yes, this is your new neural pathways. You're not thinking the old way, the way you used to think of survival, anymore. This is the new mind that's being programmed right now. This is the new circuit board. I said okay, yeah, yeah, that makes sense. Okay. Question number two what did you give me yesterday? What?
Speaker 2:in the world was that.
Speaker 1:I have sat in ceremonies with you eight times over the last year. Never have I ever been cleaned out the way I was cleaned out yesterday. What was that? And he goes ah yes, that brew is really hard on your stomach. You think I knew that. I need to know why. He said okay, I will explain more. So we go back to the jungle and we're sitting there for day two now, and I'm now. I'm going to be honest with you all. I'm not really quite at the point of surrendering. He pulls out the big gulp and I already know what it is now. I already know I'm going to have to drink it. So he gives it to me and I'm just like, alright, whatever. But still there's a bit of fear of me. Even when I'm drinking it, I'm like it's going to be nasty, it's going to make me shiver. There's still a little bit of fear. I'm still attached.
Speaker 2:I'm still not. What does that mean? We're going to be real quiet. What does that mean?
Speaker 1:and how I really don't surrender and how I live in fear, because I'm afraid of not having enough and afraid of not being enough and afraid of not doing enough, and all that does is rile my nervous system to be in survival mode. So then I sabotage myself even when things are going good. How many times has this happened with you? Things are going good and you get your blessings and things happen, and then you say, oh, this is too good to be true. That is nothing more than self-sabotage. You are saying this and you are doing this because a part of you needs to live in survival, because all it is trying to do is survive in survival mode.
Speaker 1:And I started to realize how I will unconsciously put myself in positions to sabotage myself so I can live in survival. And I was like man. This is crazy. I'm witnessing and watching it, starting to get nauseous a little bit, started to see some programs that came from my parents and their parents and so forth and so on Nothing crazy. And I look at Jesus, I say Jesus, I think I'm ready to go back to the room now. And he looks at me and he goes okay, is there any reason why? I was like well, I just don't like I feel bad being out here and you're just sitting here. You ain't got nothing to do, you just sit here and he goes okay is there anything else.
Speaker 1:And I said, well, I just know like carly would be like she'll be, she'll if she knows I'm back in my room now. She's not worried. Like he's like is she worried? Room Now? She's not worried. Like he's like is she worried I go? No, she's not worried. This is a story I'm telling myself. I can't relax because I'm telling myself this story. But she ain't got time to worry Cause I know she's probably running these kids everywhere which way across town right now. So she ain't even really worried about it.
Speaker 1:But I said there's just a part of me Like I know, if I stay here till nighttime I'm not really going to be able to surrender. And he looks at me, he goes, he starts laughing. I'm like what you laughing at? I'm being dead serious, I'm being vulnerable. Why are you laughing at me right now? And he goes I'll stay out here as long as you need. So what is it really? Hey, suze, you lucky I got this medicine in because I want to put you in another headlock. You over here, you're calling me out again. You're out here touching wounds. So I told him. I said you know what it really is. I'm so afraid that if I don't do something or I'm not what someone else wants, I may disappoint them. And at that moment I realized acceptance meant safety, safety meant survival, survival meant I would self-sabotage to keep myself in this state.
Speaker 1:That's the reason why I'm saying this. This is people pleasing 101. Every time that you people please, you just doing it so somebody accepts you. Why? Because when you're accepted by somebody else, you feel safe, and when you feel safe surviving and you will go to no ends to make sure that you survive, aka to make sure that you're accepted by everybody else.
Speaker 1:And what I realized was actually what I'm doing. I'm out here. I was doing this for me. This will be a byproduct that will help my family, but I'm abandoning me, I'm betraying me, and Jesus was trying to get me to see this. And Jesus was trying to get me to see this, but in his own loving way, he goes. You told me yesterday that you ended up having this ceremony in your room, and this happens a lot. I go, yeah, he goes. Maybe this is your process. He said growing up, did you often, when things didn't go your way, isolate yourself? I go, yeah, I just go in my room, or I go outside by myself and play basketball, it was. He said ah, this became a self-soothing mechanism. You started to learn how to soothe yourself and isolate yourself. So you, this is a part of your process of going through a ceremony. You feel more comfortable being in your own space being by yourself.
Speaker 1:I said, yeah, that resonates. Being by yourself, I say yeah, that resonates. I say, can we go? I say yes, so we get in the cab and we ride back. I get back and I'm like I know I haven't purged yet and I'm dreading it. I'm dreading, I'm like I saw what the back door did yesterday.
Speaker 2:The back door, the back door.
Speaker 1:I don't I don't know if we do that again, because that that toilet paper was like some razor blades. I ain't going to lie, that toilet paper was like a switchblade, a Swiss army knife. I said there ain't no way this door's tore up. I don't know if I can do this. I can't do this again. I get back to the room. I'm like I got to eat, so I order some fruit. I eat the fruit. Still haven't purged yet. Back door wasn't grumbling though. I was feeling like, okay, okay, this may be going to come out the front. So I'm like I got to take a shower. I got to get this out of me. I'm nauseous, but I can't get it out.
Speaker 2:I can't get it out, it won't come up.
Speaker 1:And I go into the shower and the water's hit me and I put a chair in the shower. I just need to sit down because I'm nauseous right now. It won't come up, though, and all of a sudden I just start weeping Now.
Speaker 2:I got to tell you who's weeping.
Speaker 1:The version of me who's weeping is the one who got found, the one who sought people's approval, the one who needed acceptance, so it would feel safe that version had been found.
Speaker 1:Mother Aya had hunted it down, it was on its trail, it sniffed it. Then all of a sudden, Mother Aya says you're done, You're finished. And then I'm in the shower. I could hear the dialogue between this version of me who lives in survival, who know it's caught red-handed, that version of me who knows it's about to die, and Mother Aya start having a conversation. I can audibly hear it like I'm not even in my body and it's weeping and it says why. She says stop it, You're done.
Speaker 1:And then it says why are you doing this? When are you going to beat me into submission? She goes no, you're done here. You're going to let go mission. She goes no, you're done here, you're going to let go. And at that moment I felt one last tinge of shame and the medicine came out Now.
Speaker 2:let me tell you something.
Speaker 1:The relief was instant. The relief was at as soon as it came up. And look, I'm going to tell you this. I was so just tired and fatigued at one point. Sorry, I'm being graphic, but you can't see it, so I just have to go ahead and say this this way I'm purging, standing up with my head held sideways, and it's just coming out projecting. I could just feel it hitting my teeth and going out of my mouth. Sorry, I just had to do this. But when it was done and here's how I knew when it was done that stomach was like a wash rag. It was squeezing the last content out. It got out and I felt this instant relief and I said, oh my goodness, let me just dry off, Let me get out this shower, and I go and lay down us remember that we experienced when we came into this world.
Speaker 2:I got to experience spirit the real me, the I am the infinite, the part of you that existed outside of space and time. Without the body, there's not a feeling.
Speaker 1:The medicine said this is what you were before you came into this human existence.
Speaker 2:This is what you were.
Speaker 1:And the joy, the elation. Just at one point I was laughing so hard, so hard, I was cracking up because I said, oh my gosh, this is the joy of the universe. This is like I'm literally experiencing spirit. I could feel my body tingling and I said I asked the v medicine. I'm like what is this? What is this? This is what it feels like when your nervous system is trying to calibrate to this higher frequency. And I'm like is this what it's like when you're born? And the medicine's like yes, this is exactly what it's like when you're born.
Speaker 1:And I couldn't open my eyes, but I wasn't sleepy, but it looked like I was sleeping. And the medicine says this is what happens with babies you think that they're sleeping. They're not sleeping. This new spirit that has come into this body is trying to get the body to acclimate to this high frequency and eventually we lower our awareness and we come into this physical existence. But this is what it actually feels like. So I'm like I'm born again, am I being born again? And the medicine's like yes this is your new life.
Speaker 1:We are literally reprogramming you now with a new life.
Speaker 2:And then, all of a sudden, this voice kept saying you are safe, you are safe, you are safe, you are safe.
Speaker 1:And I'm like who keeps saying this? And the medicine's like we're programming you with the frequency that will be needed so you don't go back to the old you. So the reason why I'm saying this to you is because all of us needed to know that we were safe, All of us. You know why you're afraid you don't have enough money. You know why Because you're afraid that you ain't going to be accepted by everybody. And if you're not accepted, guess what? You're not safe. So now we get in survival mode. Hustle, grind, got to do it. I got to make more money. What do I got to do? You see? But if you knew you were safe, you would move in an ease, move in a flow. You see how this works works. So I started to realize that everything at the crux of it was a safety. I needed to know that I was safe.
Speaker 1:Anybody has ever dealt with anything in their life. Sometimes a traumatic experience will have you feel like you are not safe. Sometimes things will have you questioning am I safe? I'm just here to tell you right now. I got to experience spirit, that which we actually are Child. You always going to be safe. You will always be safe as long as you know what you actually are. So today, this ceremony, the second day, it wasn't nearly as rough as the third one, as the first one, and I'm like, okay, I got one more day I can do this. So anyway, next day I text Jesus and I said, hey, Jesus, can we do it? Can we do it in my room this time instead of going out to the jungle? And he goes yes, of course, that's fine. So anyway, he comes by my room and we're sitting there talking for hours, Hours.
Speaker 2:I was telling him everything.
Speaker 1:All I was experiencing. And finally I asked him. I'm going to ask you now what was that the first day, what was that you gave me? He?
Speaker 2:goes. Listen. You have to understand how this medicine works. This medicine is comprised of two plants, the vine of one plant that bleeds of another plant. But but when you?
Speaker 1:start understanding that there's over a hundred different plants in the Amazon. I can add certain plants to have certain effects. So I knew that you had some things inside of you, because this program that you're doing right now is designed specifically for you. I knew you had some things inside of you that we had to get rid of that had to be flushed out, so I made it.
Speaker 1:so it was a little bit rough on your stomach the first day. I'm like a little bit rough. What are you talking about? You cleaned me out for centuries. Are you kidding me? I'll never, ever have to go to the bathroom again for years. And he started laughing and he goes yes, but you noticed the second day. You didn't have that. I go. You're right, I didn't.
Speaker 2:He said, yeah, because I didn't put those same plants inside with it. And I'm like, oh so then I. So now you're ready, ready, are you ready?
Speaker 1:Now I have not ingested the third day, I start, go to him. I say to him well, what's this? What kind of plants you put in this one? What's this one going to be like? He looks at me. He goes you want me to tell you what your experience is going to be? No, no, I was just asking questions. I didn't really. And he laughed like this isn't the way this works. Every experience is going to be different. But I'm just telling you here's the plans, here's the property. So, anyway, we're sitting here talking.
Speaker 1:He asked me a question. He goes were you ever rebellious growing up? And I was like hell, no, no, the most rebellious thing I've ever done. I've done two things that were kind of rebellious. One of them wasn't really rebellious, it was just me being a kid. But the most rebellious thing I ever did, meaning, knowing it was going to be wrong. I was probably going to get in trouble for it. I was 18 years old, I was a senior in high school.
Speaker 1:I pulled up in our driveway coming home from school and I said you know what? I'm going to drive the car around the house. I drive the car around the house. I'm going to drive the car around the house, in between the neighbor's yard and every I know. You live in a neighborhood. Imagine you see a car, a Mitsubishi Eclipse, driving around somebody's backyard, driving all through in between the cars and in between the house. That was me. I did it and I got out the car like, yeah, now what? Now what you going to say? My dad came home from work. He came in and I said who drove around the house? I said, oh shit, damn. He said who drove around the house? I'm like I did.
Speaker 1:He goes for what I don't know, because I was a rebel without a cause. That's why I didn't have a reason, I just wanted to do it. So Jesus was laughing. He goes well, how'd your parents react? So, when my dad still talks about it? He was just telling my son the other day yeah, you know what your dad did one time and he was laughing.
Speaker 1:He goes so when you rebelled, you basically got put on front street. Don't do that. Don't go against the status quo, don't go against conformity, don't do what aligns with you. Don't do that. Now, I'm not telling you to go off and just go off the handle. That's not what I'm saying, but he said the whole point of it. Well, he was trying to ask, he was trying to show me how the survival mechanism of conformity started to be placed upon me. And then it got projected outward. Okay. So I told him. I said, look, I have a business, I got to sell products. I got to do this, I got to do that. He goes. Okay, what's the issue? I go. Well, my issue. I remember growing up mom used to say I don't like what people sell to me. I don't want nobody trying to convince me of something. I'll convince them. I don't like what people sell to me.
Speaker 2:And he goes ah.
Speaker 1:So when you sell to people, that's not really people that you're selling to, it's actually just mom, and because you don't like to rebel, you're not going to actually put something out there that could help people, so you'll just scale back and that's actually a form of self-sabotage.
Speaker 2:And I said, okay, three days in a row, you did it.
Speaker 1:I guess I'm gonna have to put you in a headlock where you're going to to have to wrestle in this room. Man, you done did it again. You really touched something this time and he looks at me with this half smile and he goes let's drink the medicine.
Speaker 1:Maybe I need to make shirts that say, okay, let's drink the medicine, have a picture of Jesus' face on there. Maybe that's what we need to do. But anyway, he gives me the first big goal. All right, been here, done this, no big problem. No big deal, I'm not worried about that. Then he gives the second cut right after back to back.
Speaker 2:Back to back, gives it right and I was like, okay, cool, oh boy. Then he gives a third one.
Speaker 1:And I said, oh my gosh, I don't know If I even have anything in me left, but I know whatever's in me, it's going to come out and this is going to be. Let me tell you this he gave me three big gulps. Okay, he gave me three big gulps Within the matter of an hour. I was fully in ceremony mode. I can't even walk. He's sitting on the couch. I get to the bathroom. I'm so nauseous I can't get this out of me. I'm trying, I'm just sitting there. And at one point I said I don't give a, I don't care, I'm laying on the floor in the bathroom. I'm like I'll throw up all over this bathroom. I don't care, I don't care if I purge. And as soon as I said I don't care, it was almost like the medicine picked my body up and put me over the toilet and I just purged, and purged, and purged. And now I knew, once it was out, we about to get this thing going. And it was just. I mean, it was oh my gosh, from the depths of me, it came out. So, anyway, I'm stumbling, trying like medicine's fully from the depths of me it came out.
Speaker 1:Anyway, I'm stumbling, trying Medicine's fully, I'm fully aware, but your body's rendered him open. I'm like I got to get back in bed. I'm like Jesus, where's the air conditioning? I need to turn the air conditioning. There was a remote and I couldn't find the remote. I'm stumbling feeling and he's like no, no, I will find it, I'll find it, I might just find it. I'm hot. So I lay back down and I'm fully in ceremony mode and all I hear is little old Jesus running around that room trying to find that remote. And I'm telling him I'm like Jesus, just don't worry about the remote, forget about it, leave the remote alone, don't worry about it, I'll figure it out. And he, finally, I go fully into ceremony mode. I close my eyes. This medicine comes to me, mother Aya comes to me and I told you you all have heard the story of the Black Panther I close my eyes that Black Panther came and I kept saying there you are, there you are, there you are.
Speaker 2:I've been waiting to see you, there you are. And then, all of a sudden, this Black Mamba snake comes up with a black panther.
Speaker 1:And I said, well, who is this? And it was the energy of Kobe Bryant. Now I have to tell you, this week, before I was, for some reason I was went down a rabbit hole and before I know, I'm looking at reading Kobe's autopsy and it pained me, it saddened me, it hurt me to see the autopsy and see what happened to his body and what he died of and how he died in this crash. It was awful. It really put me in a rut that day Now, here he is.
Speaker 2:He says I had you read that. I had you read that autopsy. I had you that. I had you read that autopsy. I had you. I'm like why, why would you do that? For what? What'd you? And he says because I needed you to see how useless this body actually was.
Speaker 1:I needed you to see that my legacy carries on long after I left this physical world, my legacy carries on long after I left this physical world. I needed you to see really what matters. And he says this and I'm like yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm like okay, cool, but I just I need to know why though.
Speaker 2:Why did you have me look at this? He said because you need to understand that your energy is what's going to live on, not your body. It's not about your physical body, it was about your energy. Sometimes we call this legacy Good God, almighty, stay with me, y'all, stay with me. I promise I'm going to tie this into you.
Speaker 1:You got to understand that everything that you are doing right now in your life is creating legacy, meaning people are going to remember you for your energy. Did you create division or did you create unity? Did you come from a place of love or did you come from a place of hate? Did you come from a place of security and knowing and trusting, or did you come from a place of fear? That will be what reigns on. So, before you leave this earth, you better do an audit on yourself and ask yourself what will be my legacy.
Speaker 1:And Kobe looked at me and this snake. This snake looks at me and goes I designed it this way. I designed it this way to leave this planet this way, so you all could see how powerful my energy actually was. You're the one who's falling for this physical experience. And he says to me in this way. He goes stop falling for this physical experience, stupid. Stop worrying about these things in this world and thinking that it's actually going to harm that which you actually are. And then, all of a sudden, my family comes between the Black Panther and this snake and now I walk out of this. It just shifts and there's a castle and this golden jaguar walks out of this castle with a crown on its head and it says this is you now See the Black?
Speaker 1:Panther went into the shadows. The Black Panther could go into the fears. The Black Panther could go into the wounds. The Black Panther could go into the parts that everyone else would run away from See. The Black Panther hunted in the dark. Good God, almighty, we all got the Black Panther in us. All of us got the Black Panther in us. All of us have the capability of going into the dark and hunting down those parts of us that lived in the shadows, the parts of us that were wounded, the parts of us that needed to be healed. All of us had the capability. But only those who fall in love with the dark will bring light.
Speaker 1:So I go, what is it Tell me about this one? What's a jaguar? What does it mean? What did you tell me? It says this is the illumined leader, this is the one who has gone into the dark to bring light to humanity. And then, all of a sudden, you all seen the movie Soul. The movie Soul, those beings that were watching over, all the baby souls. All of a sudden, I don't know, I forgot what they were called.
Speaker 2:They come, this one feminine presence comes in and says there are a lot of souls that are waking up right now and you're here to help them. You're here to lead them, but in order to lead them, you have to go out ahead of them. So this is why you are doing this.
Speaker 1:And I'm like oh so this is a soul mission. This is why I didn't know what I was doing. But I knew what I was doing, but I didn't know where to go, but I knew I was supposed to go this way. And they're like yes, this was infused into your experience. So, before you start to question how, before you start to say how am I going to do this?
Speaker 2:The first thing you need to remind yourself is I'm already going to get there. The how is going to be the best part that is the adventure.
Speaker 1:So that ceremony ended. It carried on for a while.
Speaker 2:I'm not going to get into it the details of it, but it was profound, profound, and I see why the first ceremony- had to be that way.
Speaker 1:the second ceremony had to be that way because it all culminated to the third and I said, oh my goodness, jesus is just sitting over there. At one point I was just, I mean, I'm literally, I couldn't even open my eyes and I just glanced to open my eyes. I look over and Jesus is just sitting over there. At one point I was just, I mean, I'm literally, I couldn't even open my eyes. I just kind of glanced, opened my eyes, I look over Jesus just chilling on the couch, just hanging out, and I start laughing. I'm saying, jesus, I'm over here. You got my body feeling crazy right now. He didn't say a word, he just sat there.
Speaker 1:And I'm laughing now, thinking you think I'm out of it. I'm not out of it. I'm fully aware of what I'm saying. I'm talking to you. Why do you keep ignoring me? Right now I'm talking to you. Stop acting like I'm crazy. Right now I'm talking to you. But here's my point. At one point I said to myself, if my family saw me like this, my son would be like yo of this medicine is you always come back, always.
Speaker 1:I've been on both sides. I've been ingesting medicine and I'm like how in the world am I going to come back? I've been on the other side, where I didn't ingest medicine, and I'm watching people I know, and I'm like, well, I hope they come back, because if they go home like this, this ain't going to be good news. But here's the beauty of it you always come back.
Speaker 2:And here's what I mean when I say you always come back. You don't come back as you were, you come back to who you are Always.
Speaker 1:And this is the journey. We just on a journey right now, coming back to who we are. What do we call it? A remembering? Right, this is what this is. People say it's the great awakening. This ain't the great awakening. People talk this ain't no great awakening, this is the great remembering. We're remembering what we actually are. My brother, sal Balsano, big Sal, my boy, salvatore Salvador, I don't know he always says it's the quickening, it's the quickening. This is what's taking place right now. This is what's happening. So, for all of us, all of us, you listen to this right now. Wherever you are, please know that you are on a journey. You are remembering each and every day what you actually are. But I'm here to tell you this, one of the things I gather from this round of ceremonies and I'm about to go back here in about another month because I got another mission. One thing I will tell you this is what I've taken to take with you in your life. You don't have to live in survival mode anymore.
Speaker 2:You ain't got to, you don't?
Speaker 1:have to live in survival mode anymore.
Speaker 2:You ain't got to.
Speaker 1:You don't have to live in survival mode. You don't have to worry about, well, how am I going to get there? You ain't got to worry about that. You're going to get there. You move with that energy Trust. When he asked me that question before the first ceremony, he said if you knew it was going to work out, what would you do? How would you move? Answer that question and then carry it out. It's going to take courage, don't get me wrong. It's going to take courage because there's a part of you that doesn't want to die. There's a part of you that don't want to leave. There's a part of you that has built a big, huge mansion and it's on survival street. But it's demo day and each day is demo day. I'm going to tear this motherfucker down. I am going to tear it down. I'm going to tear this motherfucker down. I am going to tear it down. I'm going to take that sledgehammer, go straight through the walls. Like Chip and Joanna Gaines, I'm going straight through the wall because I got to take this. I got to tear this house down because I ain't going to be living in survival anymore. So now the integration is taking.
Speaker 1:It's been two weeks since my ceremonies and I'm able to catch myself. I'm able to catch myself. Self-sabotage keeps you in survival mode. I'm going to just point this out.
Speaker 1:I started to realize I do things unconsciously to put myself in survival mode and then it's wild. I won't do something that I know I need to do and because I didn't do it, it now puts me in hustle mode. Because I'm in hustle mode, I'm in survival mode. You see, I did that, I did that. And now I'm here hustling, grinding, and no other creature does this. No other creature hustles and grinds, no other creature does it. And then we glorify it. Well, I got up at 4 am and I did this. For what? Why'd you do that? For what? So you can continue to live in survival mode and your nervous system is on fleek. Can you still say fleek? I don't even know if they say that your nervous system is on 1,000. And now you can't relax. Now the quality of life is not what it could be. So if there's anything that I can't hear to give you you ain't got to live in survival mode.
Speaker 2:You ain't got to live in survival mode and affirm yourself of that.
Speaker 1:Let yourself know that I'm safe and I don't need someone else's acceptance for me to be safe. I don't need someone else's validation. I don't need somebody else to validate my existence. And I'll see you on the next round of retreats. I'm going to release the schedule here soon and we're going to Dulum. I'm going to do some two-day retreats for those who are ready, two-day ceremony. Sorry, but that's coming. But keep going, please, please, please. Not for the world, for yourself, for your legacy, for your energy. That's going to live on. So when you get to the pearly gates or wherever you're going to be, or before you come back into this existence, somebody's going to say I'll tell you one thing about her. She spent them years trying to figure out who she was. I one thing she was. She was uh, uh. She was knocking down those walls at a survival street house. She was knocking them down.
Speaker 1:she was doing everything she could and let your legacy live on and, as always, I wish you nothing but the best on the pathway to your results.