The Pathway To Your Results
Hosted by Derick “DG” Grant, this weekly show guides you through the powerful intersection of mindset, spirituality, and performance. DG unpacks how to break free from limiting beliefs, heal your inner child, and align energetically with your greatest vision. Through personal stories, practical exercises, and metaphysical insights, each episode offers you a clear path to unlocking your potential and living a life of true freedom, joy, and abundance.
The Pathway To Your Results
Parenting From Awareness
Our children serve as mirrors reflecting our unhealed wounds, acting as divine messengers who help us access and heal parts of ourselves we weren't previously aware of.
• Children trigger us not to make us suffer but to show us what still needs healing
• When we parent from unconsciousness, we project our wounds onto our children
• Breaking generational trauma happens through awareness, not perfection
• Emotional expression is our divine nature, yet many of us were raised to suppress it
• The hustle/grind mentality often masks deeper wounds of not feeling good enough
• Children need emotional safety more than perfect parents
• Saying "shame on you" carries the lowest energy frequency in the universe
• Our nervous systems directly teach our children how to regulate their own
• Conscious parenting means creating a container for healthy emotional expression
• Being the "interrupter" in your family means being brave enough to parent differently
• Children don't need parents to be perfect—they need parents to be present
Keep becoming more self-aware on your journey. Your children didn't choose you by accident—they chose you to help heal ancestral wounds and create a new legacy of conscious awareness.
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Once you see what you actually are, that you're an infinite, limitless being, you'll see that nothing exists outside of you. I'm your host, derek Grant, and this is the Pathway to your Results Podcast. Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, welcome to the Pathway to your Results podcast. This podcast is intended to help you along your journey to really become more self-aware. You know, I did something for the first time the other day that I've never done, believe it or not. I had an episode I think it was called Beyond your Limits when I told the story about taking Hudson on a five-mile run. We listened to it in the car as a family. I've never done that before in my podcast. It was Carly's idea. She's like we need to listen to it, he needs to hear it. I'm like, okay, cool. So we listened to it. I think that's the only episode Carly's ever heard. She's like all gung ho about it. I'm like I don't think you've ever heard another podcast, cause she's always listening to. What's that podcast the out, because I know I get it the kids. She'd be in her closet. I'm like what are you doing? You're watching the toast, ain't you? And then, all of a sudden, I hear a little pitter patter of the feet to come upstairs. She goes see, this is why I'm in here, I just need a break. But anyway, it was her idea to listen to that episode and it was really interesting.
Speaker 1:I was in a meditation the other day and I was just taking time sitting on my front porch to be quiet and be still, and I was just looking at everything that I'm doing with my children and how there's similarities to what I received growing up. But then there's a lot of differences, lot of differences. And when I was in this meditation, basically this, my higher self, this voice goes you're giving yourself everything that you felt like you didn't get. Sometimes we refer to this as reparenting and shadow work. Right, we go back and we give ourselves everything that we needed. But then that would be us helping our children. Good God, almighty, y'all stay with me. That would be us helping our children. Do we not know that these children, these souls, came into this existence far more aware than we were? They were our teachers, so they have a debt that they must pay back to us, meaning they have things that they must do from their end to help us and their job is to trigger you and bring up and incite these old traumas that you didn't even realize were inside of you.
Speaker 1:So I told you I was working out, I was training my son, right? I like to be open and honest. Look, here's the last thing I want. I don't want somebody to be like, well, we thought he was this. No, I'm giving you everything that I am. So y'all are going to be like, well, we didn't know who he was. So, anyway, I told you I work him out. We trained him during the summer. We're working out.
Speaker 1:He had a 12 pound medicine ball, right, I was trying to teach him how to stabilize his core and to jump. So he's jumping and he's coming down and he's jumping. Like I don't see a point of this. And I'm like I know you don't, because you don't understand what it's going to do for you long-term. But just trust me here I keep trying to preach to him just trust. So I can see him getting frustrated.
Speaker 1:He was on one that morning. I don't know what's happened. I don't know if it was a full it was actually a full moon but he was on one and he's getting mad. And I told to help, please, please, please, please. So I can see it happen. I'm like just maintain calm, just maintain calm. Well, he, carly's outside too. She's working out and she's probably about 15 feet away and she's doing her sit-ups and he goes and jumps.
Speaker 1:Sorry, before we get to that point, I had to remove myself from the situation. I had to remove myself energetically. I said you know what, you go ahead and do it. I'm not going to do it. You do it, I'm going to go over here. You figure it out. This was me really energetically keeping from getting intertwined.
Speaker 1:So he goes and jumps and the ball slips out of his hand and it hits him right in the nose. Now that's a 12-pound medicine ball. It hits him in the nose. I don't know who you are, but in the Grant household the nose is the weak spot. This is why I was never going to be a boxer. Somebody hit me one time in the nose. I'm done. I'm out for the count. My nose ain't got to break, it ain't got to bleed. If kryptonite is the Superman, it's what my nose is to me, and same goes for Hudson. He must have inherited that genetically, but anyway, ball hits him in the nose and all of a sudden, out of frustration, I hear him say a word.
Speaker 1:Now he says a word that his mom had not heard him say yet. Now I coach him on the basketball court, so sometimes you can call it toxic masculinity, I don't know what you would call it, but some words I say you can say this and do this, because it's not about why you're saying it's the intention behind it, right, it's different. So anyway, he says it was mom. I'm like oh, she heard it. I look back behind me and then she puts on her noise canceling headphones and that was her energy, saying I don't even want to be a part of this right now, because I know where it's about to go. So me, I heard him say it. I look back and I see her kind of like and I say to him I go, this is why I was trying to help you, so this wouldn't happen. So then he responds with it hit me in my nose, stupid.
Speaker 1:Now I may have told you all this. I may not have told you. I said what'd you just say, stupid? What, what, what did you just say? Now I said look, okay, put the ball down, let's go. We're going to go for a little run, let's go, let's go for a run. I said you got to run down that stop sign and back. So he ran down, stopped signing back. I told him he had five minutes. He came back in five minutes and five seconds. I said guess what? He said what I said you didn't get it in five minutes, we got to go again, let's go. So he went and came back. Now to some of us it may sound like child abuse. I have a point here. Stay with me. He got done. Next time he did it in like three minutes. That just gives you context. It took him five minutes and five seconds. But then the next time, when he ran it because he didn't want to run it he did it in three minutes. So he came back and I was. I was well.
Speaker 1:You would talk about being triggered. I was triggered on so many levels and I'm going to show you what this looks like. Okay, I grew up in a household where you don't say nothing. You better not talk back. You better not. I don't care what you, what did you just say? You better. This is what I grew up with.
Speaker 1:So then I realized this was the child in me who was actually experiencing the fear of talking back to his mother, talking back to his father. The ego had developed a safety mechanism to ensure that this trauma never got touched. So here's what it did. It lashes out it's upset, it's angry, it's upset, it's angry. And I realized, oh my goodness, this is the wound of you not feeling safe to express yourself, to express your frustration. So, because I wasn't allowed to express my frustration, my emotions got shut down. Now we raise our children to be able to express themselves.
Speaker 1:Well, let me tell you something. He fully expressed himself that day. He let me know how he was feeling. He let me know what he thought. I said okay, well, good, it's working, but we got to figure out a better way for it to work. So I was furious, right, and I'm like asking myself you know everything. I'm talking to you on a podcast.
Speaker 1:Here's the worst part, right, when you got to do it for yourself. That's the hardest part when you were telling people yeah, you got to make sure you breathe and make sure you're. And now here it is. You were in the middle of it. Now you have to apply it. I'm like man, how come it just feels so much easier when you tell somebody else to do it? Now, here I am trying to figure out myself.
Speaker 1:So, anyway, I keep asking myself why is this? Why didn't it trigger me? Why did it trigger me? No-transcript unawareness, and this is what it looks like. And your son, because he so divinely agreed to come into your existence. He was like hey dad, you're coming from a place of unawareness. Stupid. Hey dad, you're doing this from a wound. Hey dad, you're taking something from your past unconsciously and projecting it onto me. Stupid. So the stupid was triggering, not because I thought I was dumb or I thought I was stupid. That had nothing to do with it. The stupid was triggering because it got to a part of me that I was unaware of. You hear what I'm saying. So when your children trigger you, when they say something, when they do something, before it is them, it must first be you. So I told myself. I said, okay, we got to get to the bottom of this. And then I realized what it was. Stay with me.
Speaker 1:I was raised by two loving parents who were born in 1951 in Marion, south Carolina. Now you ever been to Marion South Carolina? I'd say the population's maybe 2,000 people. We used to think when I would go to my grandma's house to visit her, we thought it was a big deal when we would get to go to Pizza Hut. It'd take you 18 minutes just to get to a Piggly Wiggly, meaning there wasn't much there.
Speaker 1:So I was raised with two parents who valued hard work. They valued this hustle and grind mentality because this was the only way they were going to make it out of where they were from. My dad used to always tell me when you go back home, it's the same people who were there, which is fine, but they never figured out a way to get out and expand and do more for themselves and be more of what they were capable of being. So I grew up with this mentality that I got to have to. We got to work hard. We got to work hard. We got to work hard. However hard you work, you got to work even harder.
Speaker 1:Here's the way my mind works. If I got to hit 10 reps, I'm going to go ahead and do 15. And when I get 15, I'm going to do two more. You see how wild that is. And then here's what we will do. We will justify our trauma. We will justify our trauma and say, oh, I'm just working hard. Nah, mother, you actually doing this unconsciously, out of wound, because you have a fear of not being good enough or not doing enough or not being enough. So here's where my beautiful children come into play. My son stopped me by calling me stupid because he realized I was on the verge of continuing a cycle. I was on the verge of continuing a cycle. I was on the verge of creating this same thing in him, and then I realized what the deeper thing was.
Speaker 1:We always say with our children we want to create a space where you're able to express yourself. If you have something bothering you, you can always say why you feel the way you do. Right? This was maybe the complete opposite of what I actually experienced. Right? While my parents were super loving, super caring, sometimes I didn't feel like I could really say what I had to say, to express myself, because I always had to make sure I fell in the boundaries of quote unquote respecting your elders, right? How many times did we hear that? So by respecting our elders, we dim ourselves and we won't actually express how we feel.
Speaker 1:So now guess what ends up happening? We get raised to be these tough, silent, self-contained beings. But do we not know that this is the complete opposite nature of our divinity? Our divinity seeks expression. It does not seek repression. It doesn't seek to hold things in. That is not the way we came into this world. So now I realized that me not being able to express how I feel was really just inherited trauma. So when my son challenged me, it was the younger me who wanted to control him. I don't know if you hear what I'm saying, but see the healed version of me in 2025. Wanted to feel him. And now here's this conflict. I see that he's expressing himself, but yet I'm triggered because no wait. And here's the thing I had to talk with Carly because she was raised in complete opposite. She was raised in the complete opposite. Here's the beauty with your partner your partner is going to mirror. You Come from the opposite side. So she showed me this other side. She goes. I know he shouldn't have said that, but look at what happened. He was able to express how he felt. So the reason why I'm saying this is because we're not going to break generational trauma by not being perfect, but instead you're going to break generational trauma by being conscious. So here's what conscious parenting looks like.
Speaker 1:I went back, I told Hudson. I said come here, buddy. I said listen, I know that you were frustrated. I know it probably hurt. Actually, I know it hurt, but even in those moments we need to think about how maybe we'll say something or how it may be received. And he says dad, I'm sorry that I said that. I shouldn't have said that. I said I accept your apology and I hear you loud and clear. But here's something that I have to say to you, though. I have to tell you that I'm sorry, I have to apologize to you because I have this wound, and this is a true story. This is a conversation I had with him.
Speaker 1:I said I have this wound, that I have this fear that I'm working on every single day that I won't do enough and I won't be enough, that for some reason, I didn't do enough. Today the sun went down and I didn't get it all done and I want to apologize to you for if, any way, shape or form, I went overboard and I'm not only showing you, I'm actually projecting onto you my trauma, and this was four or five years ago. You probably wouldn't even get an apology out of me. I would just say well, I'm the parent. He should have never said that. But even in this moment, this was a GRM for me. Grm, a growth recognition moment, because we don't know how much we grow. There's nothing, there's no metric in this physical world to measure how much we grow. But as I would have looked at this child, I was able to look at this child. I was able to look at this child and say I'm sorry for my unawareness, I apologize, but thank you for bringing this to my forefront of my consciousness, because I wasn't aware. Thank you, and really, what I'm doing? Yes, I'm helping him, I'm showing him here. It's okay for you to admit when sometimes you have shortcomings, that's okay.
Speaker 1:As an adult, as a parent, I don't know about y'all, but parenting is one of the most challenging jobs there is, because there's no manual and you don't know if you're doing it right. You ain't going to know if you did it right. But, more importantly, what he was doing was giving me access. He was the portal for me to get back to myself. He was allowing me to right these quote unquote wrongs in my past. He was allowing me to tell myself what I needed to hear. So I got to reparent myself through my child. So for all the parents out there, please know that we all have traumas that mask themselves, that show up and get projected onto our children.
Speaker 1:I had somebody who I worked with and they had a profession that they loved and they were in and they wanted their children to do the same thing. And I'm sitting here, I'm on the outside looking in and I'm like your child does not want to do that. I'm just telling you right now I know you want to walk around here with these cowboy boots on and this cowboy hat, but your kid does not want to be no farmer, because I ain't seen no farmer while riding around on no dirt bike. Your kid is more X games. He realized what it was. It was a wound inside of him. So I realized on a deeper level.
Speaker 1:When I told my son this, I said hey, my job is just to be an Ace Hardware store. That's all I am. That's all I am to you Ace Hardware. I'm Lowe's, I'm Home Depot, meaning all I do is supply you with the tools. I supply you with the tools. I let you figure out what you want to do. If this is what you say you want to do, I'll help give you the tools. So I had that same day my beautiful daughter take her on a little movie. This is the story I'm about to tell you. This was the same day and it allowed me to see the healing that it can take place in such a short amount of time.
Speaker 1:She says we're sitting there talking, and I don't know how we got on the topic, but what do you want to be when you grow up? What do you want to do? She says I don't know. I really want to be a singer, I really want to sing, and then she started to get teary-eyed. Singer, I really want to sing, and then she started to get teary-eyed. I said what's wrong? What's wrong? She's like sometimes I get scared that people listen to me when I sing and they won't think I'm very good. I said oh, I hear you, sis, but here's the good news you ain't got to worry about what they think about you, because chances are, they probably can't sing either. About what they think about you Because chances are they probably can't sing either. She had a little smile and cracked a smile.
Speaker 1:I said well, how about this? We don't have to worry about what people think about us. Why don't we just give ourselves permission to dream of what it is that we want to do? She said I want to sing, but I don't know what my name would be. I said well, what about Becoming Ruby? Her eyes lit up. I said yeah, this would be a good name, right, becoming Ruby. And you'll tell all the little girls out there. You chose this name because it was about you becoming who it was you wanted to be.
Speaker 1:And she heard her mouth start to smile and everything Because she was. Oh, I know why we got on this topic. She told me she couldn't sleep. She said I can't go to, I'm not tired. I said why don't you just dream about what it is you want to be when you grow up and just sit here, instead of daydream we'll nightdream.
Speaker 1:So we start going through and she goes well, I don't know how to do it. I said well, here's what you do. Can you imagine you just on stage and you're singing and you're doing all your flips? I don't know if singers do that, but she loves to do flips, but maybe she'd be the first and she's doing all these flips and tumbling and all this stuff. And I said can you imagine me and mom backstage and you imagine me just sitting there dancing? I started dancing for her and she started to smile and laugh and I said see, you're doing it. You're doing it right now. You're sitting here imagining what that would be like and you're feeling it, you're experiencing it. You see, it's free, it costs nothing. I said just do this just for a little bit and imagine what it would be like becoming Ruby and you're singing. You're doing all this and she goes. Okay, I got it and I was about to leave. I said okay, good night, I got to get ready to go.
Speaker 1:She goes wait, I know what else I want to be when I grow up too. I said what? God bless her soul. She said I want to work at Ulta or Sephora. I said, girl, you get all the makeup you can get. You get all the skincare products. If that's what you want to do, then let's do it Now.
Speaker 1:I went and told Carly. I said I was telling her a story and Carly started to get teary-eyed and everything I was telling her. I said, yeah, and she told me what she wants to do when she grows up. She said what I said she wants to work at Ulta or Sephora. I said, oh, if I know her well enough, she won't last a week, because she don't like being told what to do. Carly said, oh, she ain't going to last a day.
Speaker 1:But here's the point. It was about giving her the permission to dream and be who she wanted but, more importantly, providing the support and the tools for her to do that. So my son, earlier that day, he taught me and showed me hey, dad, here's how and here's what I need, here's what I need. I don't need you to come in behind me when I fall short to then say, well, if you have done this and that I don't need that me when I fall short, to then say, well, if you have done this and that I don't need that. I need you to just provide the tools, create the container so I can figure this out myself, because, at the end of the day, this is my journey. More importantly, I need a space that I will be able to express myself, that I will be able to say here's how I feel, here's what I think, here's the way I'm perceiving this. And if I need you, dad, to come from a place of non-judgment, I need you, dad, to step into your sovereignty, I need you, dad, to come from the place of you being healed, so you don't project your unconscious beliefs and your unconscious wounds of what you didn't do or should have done or should have been onto me. And when we do this parents out there when we do the work on ourselves and we use our children and we use this generation underneath or anyone else for that matter that may bring up these wounds inside of us through triggering, we now give them the chance to make this world a better place.
Speaker 1:I heard a saying. They said that if you don't work on yourself, your children going to pay for it through therapy. If I don't work on me, the generation underneath me is going to have to pay for it. This is what we're seeing in our world right now, and I'm 42 years old. Now, I think I'm considered a millennial. I think that's what I am. I don't know. I think 29 to 44, I don't know.
Speaker 1:I don't know what it is, but my generation right, parents who were born in the 50s and 60s we are the really, if you really look at it, maybe the 70s, those who were growing up in the 70s. They were trying to, but we are the first generation that has access to resources in a way like never before. We have this awakening, the mass awakening that happened in 2019 and 2020, where we have the opportunity to be such a vessel of light for the generation that is coming up now. But I'm telling you, you can't give them your light and then not create more of your own. The way we create more of our own is to remove the darkness from our life. The way we create more of our own light is to heal the past wounds, to come to the awareness of why this trigger or how it's linked to my trauma. When you do this, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, this world is going to change at a rapid rate. I'm telling you this world is going to change at a rapid rate. So please understand this. As a parent, your child isn't triggering you. They're just showing you what still needs to be healed. That's it. That's all it is.
Speaker 1:And for a split second, even my ego was like. He called me stupid. He didn't call you stupid. That's not what he was saying. That's not what it was. It wasn't that at all. He was just creating a container, a moment of conflict, as an invitation for you to reparent this part of yourself that you were unaware of. Good told him, I said I love you and thank you, thank you, thank you, son, for bringing this into my awareness, because this is something now that I get to work on to help you in your journey.
Speaker 1:Then today, when I was telling you that I was in this meditation, oh my goodness, look how we are changing humanity. We're changing humanity through our children, but really it's through ourselves. So this is why it's so important for you to learn how to be emotionally safe within yourself, why it's so important for you to love yourself without conditions, not because if you did enough, not because if you had enough, not because you accomplished. It's important for you to do all these things without conditions so you then can do this for the generation this kind. Because here's the big duty about kids, kids and puppies and dogs. Right, don't get me started on puppies If I get sent one more thing from my wife about she wants a puppy bulldog, she wants a bulldog, she wants a bulldog.
Speaker 1:I told her. I said, look, I know you want a bulldog, but we got a boxer. Right now we got a dog. But do you know why you want a bulldog? You want a bulldog because you got a bulldog when you were 10 years old and you had it for a week and your parents realized how busy you were and they had to get rid of the dog and this was traumatic for you. I don't blame you If I had a little six-week-old puppy or eight-week. How old was the puppy? It was cute. I saw pictures of it. This was trauma and now you're trying to relive. But I'm just telling you I can't do no bulldog puppy right now. I can't do it. I'm just telling you you need to go ahead and deal with that trauma of that bull. The dog's name was Bull, for everybody's mind. She had a, the brother playing sports, her playing sports, and dad was a fireman. They didn't have time so they had to sell. And she said it was traumatic. It was. You would have thought the world ended when they had to sell that dog. I said I understand it, but please you ain't got to keep sending me all these puppy bulldogs, because you're going to mess around and make me want one and then I'll mess around and have a bunch of puppy bulldogs.
Speaker 1:Anyway, our, our children just want to be loved. They just want to be safe emotionally. They just want to know that's it. They just want to know that I can express myself. That's the beauty about a child. A child will tell you what it needs. I'm talking about four and under. Anybody. Have a child in four and under, they'll say something in public. You'll be like shh, don't you say that Child don't care. Child just wants to express. This is their divine nature, this is our divine makeup. We just want to express how we feel. But you can't create that space for a child until you've created it for yourself. How in the world am I going to create a container for a child that I don't even have for myself? So this is why it's so important for us to create that safe space, that container, for ourselves, so we can then project it outwardly. Here's the other thing I've learned I've come a long way. I'm going to be honest with you all. I've come a long way because I can speak to this, the African-American community.
Speaker 1:If you look at a majority of the parenting, it really is not too far from the slave master mentality, because this was the power dynamic of the authoritative figure and I started to realize I see my relatives. I'm like, no, this isn't how you talk to a child, this isn't how you teach this child to be emotionally aware, this isn't how we do this. So discipline without connection and just doing it strictly, out of control, is really just control. It's trauma disguising itself. And I started. I had to realize this. I had to. You know how hard it is to unprogram what you've learned, especially as a parent. I can't believe he talked back. He's wait. Hold on now, hold on, wait, stop. You do realize that you, parenting out of presence, realize that you, parenting out of presence, is far more influential and far more transformative than you trying to do this out of a wound, out of trauma. But you have to become aware of it. So I started to realize that you know, as parents, we always wonder how well our children remember us. And I started to look at it and say you know what? Sometimes we call it legacy. Who cares about how I'll be remembered? That doesn't matter. Legacy is what you live out. And I had to make this conscious choice as a parent. I got to work on myself. I have to. I have to. I have to heal these traumas. Some of these things are from my own life. Some of these things are ancestral.
Speaker 1:I told you one example my son. He was potty training and he used to do this thing. Anybody else have kids who do this. He didn't want to go sit on the toilet so he would hide. He would go and hide and go for whatever reason. He would go poop in the pantry. The pantry was not the place where feces needed to be. He would have a diaper on, he'd have his training pants on, but he would go in. And I'm like he probably going to get mad at me one day. He's going to be like dad, why are you telling all my business? Anyway, I had to tell you this because my mother was there that time. My mom we talked about this before she goes. She opened up the pantry and saw him over there. He was grunting and pushing and it was coming out. He was doing this thing, whatever.
Speaker 1:And I heard my mom say boy, what are you doing? Shame on you, get out of there. And it triggered me, triggered me. How many times have we heard this growing up? Shame on you, shame on you. I can't think of a worse comment that you can make to a human being. The lowest energy, the lowest frequency in this entire universe is shame. You know what shame says I'm not good enough as I am. Isn't this what every human being struggles with? Every human being struggles with not being good enough. You want more money. Why? Because I'm scared I won't be good enough.
Speaker 1:So then to hear this, it was super triggering. I said, oh my goodness, in that moment I must say something. Mom, in all fairness, he's two, we don't have to bring shame into it. We ain't got to say it're going to heal your kids through you. Let me go ahead and say this again one more time for the people in the back, because I know some of us stubborn, I know some of us, our egos, don't want to hear nothing. As I say, you don't want to hear nothing. I'm saying right now. I know it because it's easier for you to keep living in this unconscious state, because that's just what you're used to. That's the way Mammy did it, meemaw did it that way, grandma did it that way, maumau did it that way, everybody else did it this way. But it's too easy for you to break this chain, to break this cycle, for you to go out and start stepping into your sovereignty and start doing things and parenting things in a way that nobody in your family had ever done. That's easier for me to just go ahead and keep let this thing going. But I'm just telling you you're going to heal your kids through you. So this is when I started to realize my children. They're just a mirror, they're the medicine, they're the medicine.
Speaker 1:And then my very first ayahuasca ceremony when I was one with the universe. I was one, I was literally the consciousness of all that is, and it came to me in a child's voice. It came to me in this you guys seen the movie Ponyo? Go watch the movie Ponyo. P-o-n-y-o Disney movie, japanese anime. It was in her voice. Oh, it was the most euphoric experience.
Speaker 1:I ain't had a ceremony since then. I'm like Mother Io here. She knew what she was doing. Show me the best of times, so that way I'm going to keep coming back. She didn't take me down to the mosh pit the first time, but she showed me this and I look back on it and I say, wow, you got to see this whole entire world through the space of a healed child.
Speaker 1:And I'm telling you, there is nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing more powerful in this universe than a child who's being parented by a conscious, aware, healed individual. And the world's going to say, oh, you're being weird, they're weird, what's wrong with them? What's wrong with them? Well, if that's what you call it, then let me be it. I'm really just unique, unique. See, you don't realize there's you and I. In the word unique, unique means there's one. I'm just one of one and I'm just owning that, and I suggest that you do the same. So let our children be our mirrors, let our children be the ones who help us to find these parts of ourselves.
Speaker 1:And here's the deal as you go deeper and as you continue to become more aware, the deeper the triggers and the more it's going to trigger you. The deeper the triggers and the more it's going to trigger you. But this is why it's so important for you to just trust and know that they are doing their divine job. They're doing it and by you working on you, you're doing your divine job. So I know I share a lot of my life with you because I am too just a mirror in your life. I don't know your children, I don't know your nieces and nephews, I don't know who you have in your life that you influenced, that's younger than you.
Speaker 1:But I realized something when I was on the ceremony and coming back from the last one and really looking to integrate and how it works in my nervous system, I started to realize that I'm just the sum total of all of my beliefs and my beliefs influence my nervous system. So it didn't really matter what I was told. It mattered more about how I felt growing up and I started to realize in my children's life my children are going to be exactly what my nervous system teaches them. I better recalibrate my shit. I better make sure I get my stuff in order Well, otherwise we're going to have two janky nervous systems. And if we got two of them, guess what that sets them up to have? They're going to have a raggedy janky nervous system for their children and it's just going to keep going and keep going, and keep going. And here's the deal.
Speaker 1:I know sometimes it's hard. When we catch ourselves and we're projecting our trauma from our life onto them. We'll start to shame ourselves, we'll start to beat ourselves up, but we're not going to make every shot that we shoot. That wasn't the point of it. You think the point was to make the shot? No, no, no, the point was shooting the shot, because each time that you shoot, you learn. You learn what needs to be done differently. So the reason why I'm saying this is generational.
Speaker 1:Healing isn't about perfection. That's not what it's about. That's not what it's about. It's about presence. I hope you understand.
Speaker 1:I hope you're picking up what I'm dropping off. Your parents, your children don't need you to be God, they don't need you to be like this perfect being who's just, I'm telling. I tell my kids all the time I ain't going to get it right. So you got a problem with that. You might as well go ahead and find you a new daddy because I ain't going to get it right. I'm telling you first and up front, and you knew that I wasn't going to get it all right, because us, through me, not getting it right, that's giving us both an opportunity for us to get to parts of us that are divinely aligned. So your children don't need you to be perfect. Let your pride go, let it go, I'm telling you.
Speaker 1:I am telling you who's someone who has done the work and this is hard stuff coming from the way I was raised to be able to look at your children and say, hey, I was raised to be able to look at your children and say, hey, my fault, dude, I got to do better, I got to be better, my fault. I used to be scared to do that. You know why? Because in my mind, the parent was always right the parent. You put God and the parent on the same. They're the same at the same level. No, you're human. You're human, and I suggest you teach your kids how to be human too. Teach your children how to show their vulnerability so when they are parents, they will be better parents than you were.
Speaker 1:And do you see now how we make this world a better place? So here's my advice, and here's my advice and here's my challenge to you start choosing love, acceptance. Choose that over the loyalty that you had to that pain, that loyalty to that old generational. Oh, this is the way we do things. That shit's outdated, that ain't working, because y'all are still carrying that same program and that same way of parenting that worked in the 1950s.
Speaker 1:We in 2025. Do you not know that? I can type something on a computer and it will give me the answer right away? We not living in the same time? I have to evolve with the times, with my parenting. We evolve with our body. We evolve with our music genres that we like. Allow your parenting to evolve as well. And here's the beauty of it. It only takes one. It only takes one. If you do the work on you, you will raise your children different. You're a child, and that child now will have children, and then those children will have children, and then those children will have children. And it will be because you made a drastic change in the way you viewed yourself and you healed these past wounds that you changed the trajectory of your lineage.
Speaker 1:So the reason why I'm saying this to you and I'll leave you with this if you're listening to this right now, I would be willing to bet there's a chance that you're the one who chose to be the interrupter in your family. You are. You're the one who says you know what? I'm not spanking my children. I'm not going to beat them into submission and fear because I know what effects it has on them later, when they're 30 and 40 years old, when they have to use self-belief and self-confidence to be able to build something. I know the effect that it has on them and while we'll say, oh well, they're only eight years old, I'm not going to do it. There has to be a better way than me putting a belt on his backside to get him to understand what it is that I'm trying to teach it and doggone it. I know there's going to be some fear that comes up. And what if my child grows up to be unruly. You know what? At least he won't grow up to have a lack of self-acceptance. At least he ain't going to grow up with the same things that you had. You be the one who says you know what? I ain't going to do it.
Speaker 1:I had to look my parents in the face one time. They were mad because I had to get all the kids in front of them and they're like what are you doing? I looked at them. I said what are you talking about? What are you talking about? I was just raising my voice. They're like oh, now you're uncomfortable. You weren't uncomfortable when you put that belt on my backside back in 1987. Since we want to go ahead and do that, you show didn't feel uncomfortable then. But they were only doing it from the level of awareness where they were at. So there's no hard feelings.
Speaker 1:But here's the deal when you know better, you gots to do better. And if you listen to this podcast right now, you know better. So I challenge you to do better, I challenge you to be better. So you the one, you the one who's going to break this, you the one who's going to end it, you the one who go everybody in your family. You don't spank these kids. You don't beat these kids. You don't do no, I don't do that.
Speaker 1:I actually realized when they do something, they're just trying to express themselves, but they don't yet know how to do that. And my job is to place a boundary, give them the tools and show them and bring awareness to say, hey, this is not the best way Now, you, that's the consequences you will have to live with. But if you listen to me, I can maybe give you some better tools, some better avenues for you to be able to express yourself. But this isn't it right now. And you see, now I'm coming from a place of love. I'm coming from a place of compassion. I'm coming from a place of patience. I'm coming from a place of presence, instead of coming from this past, unhealed version of me who was unconsciously lurking in the shadows of my psyche. Do you see the difference?
Speaker 1:So I say all this not because I'm standing on a throne being holier than thou, but because it's a work in progress. We ain't going to get it all right. So stop trying to be perfect as a parent. Seek to be present with yourself. Stop trying to dictate what they want to do, and figure out what's the root of your wounds that feel the need to control, and as you up your awareness, you will up their awareness, and as you up their awareness, this is how we bring more light to this world. So keep going, everybody. Keep trying to figure out yourself through your children, and they will do the same, and they're going to bring more light to your awareness through triggering you and do all these things. But this is so divinely beautifully orchestrated and, as always, I wish you nothing but the best on the pathway to your results. You.