The Pathway To Your Results
Hosted by Derick “DG” Grant, this weekly show guides you through the powerful intersection of mindset, spirituality, and performance. DG unpacks how to break free from limiting beliefs, heal your inner child, and align energetically with your greatest vision. Through personal stories, practical exercises, and metaphysical insights, each episode offers you a clear path to unlocking your potential and living a life of true freedom, joy, and abundance.
The Pathway To Your Results
The Road Back to Your Higher Self
The key to manifesting our desires lies in understanding their true purpose: the universe places desires in our hearts to lead us back to our higher selves. Every desire is an invitation to shed our old identity and become the version of ourselves capable of bringing that desire into reality.
• Our desires are not about what we want to have, but who we need to become
• The Wright brothers weren't pilots but bike smiths who defied convention
• You cannot desire something you don't have the capability of bringing into reality
• Write down your desires immediately so your logical mind doesn't talk you out of them
• Like a snake shedding its skin, we go through blind periods during transformation
• Don't try to figure out "how" at the beginning of your manifestation journey
• The universe gives you desires as breadcrumbs leading you back to your higher self
• Your desires help you shed layers of scarcity, fear, and limitation
• Internal state is what matters - create the frequency first, then the physical reality follows
• Dream big because the bigger your dream, the more of yourself you'll remember
• Going through challenging experiences helps reveal parts of yourself you didn't know existed
Remember: keep going, keep moving forward. This is the pathway to your results.
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Once you see what you actually are, that you're an infinite, limitless being, you'll see that nothing exists outside of you. I'm your host, derek Grant, and this is the Pathway to your Results Podcast. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Pathway to Results podcast. It is your boy, dg. We are here live and, in effect, oh boy, oh boy, we're going to talk about desires today.
Speaker 1:I know everybody has desires. Everybody wants something. We all want something, even if you don't want something. That means you want what you don't want. So we all got something that we want, even if you don't want anything. You want something right now, but we don't realize where that desire comes from. We don't realize why we have the desires. Then we don't realize that, if we have the desires, that means too good, god Almighty, we've got to get started. Okay, that would mean that you had the capability as well. You see, you can't desire something that you don't have the capability of bringing into this physical reality. Do you hear what I'm saying? You cannot desire something and not have the capability of bringing it into physical reality. The two come hand in hand together.
Speaker 1:Now we could go and look at things that human beings have created in this physical world that had been invented. Let's just look at the airplane. We could get into a whole other conversation of whether or not aircraft existed long before Wilbur and Orville. We're not going to get into that. That's a little deeper topic. Was there aircraft that could defy gravity before the early 1900s? If you ask me, I'm gonna say yes, but that's a whole another topic. Okay, but think about this these two men who were bike smiths. They were bike smiths. I don't know, you know, if you know what a bike smith is. A bike smith is somebody who builds bikes and fixes bikes. That ain't got nothing to do with defying gravity. Okay, the bike is arguably the most gravitationally challenged thing in this whole entire physical universe. It stays on the ground.
Speaker 1:Now, unless you're the Wicked Witch, from what is that the Wizard of Oz? Didn't she have a bike? She rode on a bike that could fly right. Or maybe that's ET, I don't know. You get what I'm saying, but my point of this is this Maybe the both of them did. Yeah, the both of them had it. Yeah, et and the Wicked Witch. So when I think of the Wicked Witch, I think of Elphaba. You see what happens. You see how my squirrel brain's going all over the place. Now I don't even remember what I was going to say. Now Let me go back to the regular schedule.
Speaker 1:These bikesmiths, wilbur and Orville Wright we have to think about it like this they weren't pilots, they weren't airplane mechanics, they weren't anything that had anything to do with what they were creating, what they were inventing. Do you see how this works? Oh, good god, almighty. You mean to tell me somebody who had no Previous Certification good, god, almighty. You mean to tell me somebody who had no previous certification, no previous qualification, no previous proof of creating a structure that could defy a gravitational, literally a law of physics. You mean to tell me they had no proof that this could be done, other than the idea.
Speaker 1:Let me go ahead and stop there, because I don't think you're picking up what I'm dropping off right now. I don't think you understand what I'm saying right now. They created something that would have to be flown by a pilot, but neither of them were pilots. They created something that had never been created before, so they had no frame of reference, they had no context, they had nothing to say. Oh well, yeah, my grandfather was a pilot, so, yeah, I could probably build an airplane. There was nothing.
Speaker 1:So this is why I tell you if you have the desire, you better write that mother down. If you have a goal, you better write it down. If you have a dream, you better write it down. You know why you better write it down? Because you're going to forget. Here's why you're going to forget Because the conscious mind is going to take over at some point, the logical, linear, egoic thinking mind that's going to think yeah, but how are we going to do this? You better write it down because here's what I see, what happens with a lot of people. We have a dream, we have a goal, and if this is, you go ahead and holler.
Speaker 1:If you hear me, right now, you have a dream and you have a goal, but as soon as you come up with it, you start thinking about how am I going to do this? You start thinking about, well, what if it doesn't happen? You start thinking, well, if I fall short, what is everybody going to think about me? And then what do you do? You go ahead and forget about it. You go ahead and throw it in the closet, sweep it under the shelf. Matter of fact, you don't even throw it in the closet, you throw it out in the street and then, guess what? Somebody else gets that dream, somebody else gets that idea, and then they go and do it. And now you over here looking like this.
Speaker 1:I can't believe they just did what I wanted to do. I was the one who wanted to do that. I can't he over here saying all this stuff. I was going to say stuff, so it sounded good. He over here, she over here, I was going to be.
Speaker 1:But do you see what ends up happening? We use one part of our brain to pull it down and then we use another part of our brain to construct it. But where we get in trouble is when we flip them. You try to use the logical, linear mind to pull it down and then you don't even use the one that was the dreamer, the one that was intuitive, the one that came from the spirit, the one that comes from outside of space and time. We don't even use the one that was the dreamer, the one that was intuitive, the one that came from the spirit, the one that comes from outside of space and time. We don't use that one, but that was the most important one. So when we start understanding where our desires come from it will allow you to treat them like a newborn baby baby.
Speaker 1:When I have a goal, when I have a dream that comes to me and I can feel it in the core of my soul, I know that this is coming from the real me, the infinite me, the I am, the immortal me, the part of me that is having this physical human experience that exists outside of space and time, and it just wants to see what it's like from this perspective as a human. It's coming from that meaning. It's sending the message, it's sending the telegram, it's sent the email, it's sent the text message down into this conscious body saying I want to try this so we can see who we can become. I want to see what this is like. I want to go out there and branch off and see who would I have to become in order to do that. So I know when a desire, when a dream, comes in, I don't question how.
Speaker 1:That's the first mistake. Please, and thank you, do not try to figure out how at the beginning of your journey. If you try to figure out how, you ain't going to do nothing in the now, you're going to stay right where you're at, because as soon as we do this, the ego's like okay, okay, if we figure out how, then that way we'll be comfortable and that way we'll be safe and that way we'll have certainty and that way I'll be alive. And that's all I wanted to do. Anyway. I don't want to become something new, because if I become something new, then I'll have to die. And if I die, then what? But instead, maybe we realize that our desires are just things that are trying to help us to continue to grow. Good God, almighty, y'all stay with me.
Speaker 1:I'm going to drop something on you Every time that you have desire. Do we not realize that this is your spirit, having a prompt saying here's your chance right now, here is your opportunity to grow. And here's what I mean by that. We're going to do something that has never been done. You're going to have to become somebody that you've never been. You're going to have to let go of those old frequencies of poverty, of scarcity, of shame, of guilt, of fear. You're going to have to let that go, because if you don't let go of that, we can never bring this into physical reality. So we're going to have to become something that we've never been, but that's going to be scary for that version of us that we thought we were? Did we not realize that that was just a skin that we had become accustomed to? That was just a container. Good God, almighty. You know, I just learned something. I don't even know what it's called. I don't even know what it's called, but you see, when a snake starts to shed its skin, y'all ain't trying to hear nothing. I'm saying I'm hoping right now you can pick up what I'm dropping off intuitively, because I'm about to drop something on you right now.
Speaker 1:Do you know that a snake sheds its skin when it outgrows that skin? Do we know that? Everybody knew that? Yeah, we all knew that. But do you know, while it is shedding its skin, it is also blind. Do we not know when we are shedding our skin, meaning we are leaving our old life and we are moving into the new one? If you don't have chills, you might as well go ahead and turn this podcast off and go find your new one. Do we not realize when we are going into a new phase? We are transitioning from the old frequency into the new frequency. Sometimes we call this the liminal space. You know, we did a podcast on this.
Speaker 1:Sometimes we go through this phase and we're blind. We don't see what's next. We don't see who we're going to become. We think we have an idea. I'm sure that snake has an idea that it's going to be the same snake, it's just going to be in different form. You're still going to be the same person at the essence of you, but you're going to come across a little bit differently. You're going to be coming from a place of abundance, from a place of love, from a place of joy. You're not going to be coming from the place of fear, of scarcity, those old programs that were from the 1950s, that were passed down. You're not going to be coming from that anymore, but you're still going to be the same snake. So the reason why I'm saying this, and when I started to learn that snakes do have they go through this phase where they're blind, when they're transitioning from this new skin, I said oh, how many.
Speaker 1:Every time I've gone through a new phase of life there's been a new iteration, there's been a new version of me, and I know it because I go through a hardship, I go through a struggle and I say this is the portal, this is the pain, portal to my progress. So I say it with me. This is my pain, portal to my progress. I know that every time I go through that, there's a space where I'm like how am I going to get there? Why did I do this? Am I even going to make it? And we forget our desires. But please hear me when I say this. This is when we'd start or we stop trying to walk by sight and you walk by faith. They're not trying to hear nothing I'm saying right now. They're not trying to hear nothing.
Speaker 1:I don't need my eyes to be able to see. When I say eyes, I'm not talking about your physical eyes. I don't need to see any proof of the desired reality for me to hold the frequency of the desired reality. Because I realize this universe only gave me one responsibility. It said in order to see it, you're going to have to be it. In order to be it, you're going to have to feel it.
Speaker 1:So until I feel this, until I feel this, it's only going to be a desire, and as long as it's a desire, it's going to be outside of you. You see, this is the way I understand the language of this universe. Universe gives you the desire, but it needs you to turn that into knowing it needs you to turn that into being. As long as we desire something, you ain't never going to get it. As long as you desire something, that means you don't have it. Nobody here desires to have a shirt on their back because we have a shirt on the back, but if we didn't have a shirt on our back, we would desire to have a shirt on the back.
Speaker 1:So the reason why I'm saying this there's a transaction that's taking place. There's an energetic exchange. You think you want the desire. The desire was given to you by your higher self. The desire came from outside of space and time and it dropped into your consciousness. That was the first transaction. The spirit says here, here is the desire that will keep you in alignment for what your life's journey, what you agreed to before you incarnated. Here is the desire that will keep you in alignment for what your life's journey, what you agreed to before you incarnated. Here is your desire.
Speaker 1:And then here we are in this old, crusty, dusty, three dimensional reality and we over here thinking, oh, I want that new car, I want that new house, I want a new relationship, I want him to like me, I want a new relationship, I want him to like me. But really you don't really want what you think you want. No, you don't really want what you think you want. You don't want the physical thing. You wanted the newer version of you. That's actually what you wanted. But if we're still living through this three-dimensional reality, we think it was the physical thing.
Speaker 1:If you was hard-headed like me, growing up and I say growing up, I'm talking about in my 30s, I'm not talking about when I'm 30. I'm talking about in my 30s If you were hard-headed like me, I thought I wanted the house and the car and all these things. And then you realize, oh, I don't really want that, because when I got that, I was over it within the next week. I really wanted the version of me, of who I would have to become, and that's all. That's all the desire was for. Do you hear what I'm saying? I don't think you understand what I'm saying.
Speaker 1:It was like a dangling carrot to get you to get back to yourself. Good God, almighty, the universe put the carrot of desire in front of you. So you would say, oh, my goodness, I want that new car. Well, in order to get that new car, you realize, you won't have to become somebody you've never been, because nobody in your family has ever driven a car that would cost that much. And you still have power scarcity programming that says otherwise. It says that you can't ride in that car. So it will use that desire to get you to become someone that you have never been Meaning. You're going to have to start to shed that old skin Meaning your ass is going to have to be blind for a little bit. I'm sorry if you got children.
Speaker 1:I didn't mean to say the cuss word, but you understand and you see what this is for. The desire is to get you To the part of you, sorry, to the next iteration of you. So here's the key you don't actually want the desire, but instead you want the internal state. You believe the desire would put you in, but I'm telling you, you can beat the game If you realize that the external thing just represented an internal frequency. And now I can start to create the frequency, because this unbelievable source, creator, god, allah, brahman, whatever you refer to it at it has equipped us with the ability and the capability to manufacture our own frequency. Do you hear what I'm saying? You can manufacture the internal state of being that was being represented by this physical thing. I don't need the physical thing, I can literally create this myself internally. And then here's the beauty of it, good God, almighty. When you create it internally, and then here's the beauty of it, good God, almighty, when you create it internally, the universe will then say she's it, she's it, she's it. She is the thing that she desired. And if she is the thing that she desires, we know that she don't want it no more. We know that she don't want it no more. And if she doesn't want it, this is when we can give it to her, because we are a vibrational match. This is what we call oneness, folks. This is what we call oneness.
Speaker 1:On a deeper spiritual, metaphysical meaning, you start to realize that you and your reality were never separate, but it was being the outside, was matching the inside. So I have to only focus, focus, focus, focus, focus on my internal state, that that desire, reality, that the desire represented. And if I can do that, I can have it. Not have it the way you think, sorry, not physically, energetically. I have it. And here's the weird thing I don't want it anymore. I don't have a desire. I don't have a desire anymore. I know I said I wanted it, but I don't want it. And then, all of a sudden, this thing will lead to that and something will lead to this, and then it will fall right in your lap and this is why I told you to make sure you wrote down that desire and that goal, because it will come to you when you least expected it, when you least wanted it. Do we understand how this works? I will have whatever it is I no longer desired, and this is where we have to understand the language of this universe.
Speaker 1:Humans think having equals, possessing, physically possessing that isn't the way this universe works. Having represents to the universe by being I saying this to you, your job, your responsibility is really only to vibrationally possess what it was that you were looking to create, and it costs nothing. This is the cool part. You do realize. It costs you nothing. It's free, it costs nothing.
Speaker 1:I can literally go sit at a park every day and just sit here and imagine wow, I'm sitting in my expansive backyard. I have my two Cane Corso dogs running around. That one's name is T'Challa and that one's name is Killmonger. Wait, no, I'm not going to call them Killmonger. It's probably not a good idea, but anyway, they Black Panthers. You see what I'm saying. I can sit here and do this all day long, and here's the deal. Nobody knows that I'm doing this. They think I'm just enjoying the sun. They think I'm just trying to tan or something. But the universe knows, god knows, source knows, the Creator knows. Oh, wow, look at her. Look at him. Look at him being that version who. We ever so gently placed that desire upon him. We put that prompt. Yes, she wanted to start that business. We went and go and put it in there. We placed it, nestled it right there in her subconscious. Yes, she forgot about it, but there it is starting to blossom.
Speaker 1:So why am I saying this to you right now? This is why we have to take the barriers, the boundaries off, because your desires had no boundaries. We call desires, dreams, goals. You had no boundaries. You had none. I told you about World War and Orville Wright. Imagine if they had boundaries, if they had limitations. How in the world can we create something new? How can we do something that's never been done? If there's a boundary, if there's a limitation, it can't be done, it can't happen. Look at what you've accomplished in your life. Look at what you've done.
Speaker 1:I want you to sit here and think about something that you didn't think could happen, and it happened in your life. Can you think of one thing? Can we think of one thing? One thing I don't know Maybe you were born prematurely and the fact that you're alive right now you can hear this, that was the one thing I don't know. Just think of one thing. Okay, now I want you to think about what you had to go through in the evolution and the change that took place in order for you to become who you are today. Was there change involved? Was there growth involved? Was there pain involved? Ah, yes, so you're getting the framework. Now You're getting the blueprint of how alchemy takes place, how transformation takes place. It's through this uncomfortableness, it's through this transformation, this liminal space, it's through this pain. It's through all these things.
Speaker 1:I told you the last podcast I was talking about when I took my son on that five-mile jog. That's why I did this. I consciously put him in a position that would force him to shed a skin and while he was shedding, he was blind. He couldn't see. He didn't know why he was doing this. He couldn't see from the beginning. He couldn't see from the beginning. He couldn't see the end, but this is what I'm telling you.
Speaker 1:I don't think I'm any better than anybody, I'm just telling you I pay attention more to life than probably, most probably to a fault. Maybe I got OCD when it comes to psychoanalyzation, but I will tell you this. There is one thing that I have realized that happens in every person's life over and over and over and over. There is this stage of when the desire comes in, the belief that it's possible, shows itself, the actions being taken. There's always this phase when it looks like it's not going to happen, when it always looks like sorry. There's a point when it looks like there's no way this is possible. How, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how. And this is what we start giving energy to, and here's what ends up happening. Most of us will give up, some of us will take a pause. Very few of us will keep moving forward.
Speaker 1:Have you ever had a dream? I had a dream the other night where I couldn't move, like I was trying to like walk, walk and I couldn't move. I'm like man, what, the what is this? I'm not even in quicksand. I'm like trying to pick my legs up, like what is this? Why is this happening right now? And I realized on a deeper subconscious level, there's a part of me who feels stuck, that I need to tend to. But when you start to think about your life, it's not about whether or not you're moving forward. It's about the energy behind when you are moving forward. So am I doing this from a place of faith? Am I doing this from a place of courage, or am I doing this from a place of fear?
Speaker 1:Now, all of these things will come up to show you when you have a desire, get dropped into you. So, for all of us this is why this matters I'm going to tell you your higher self used desires that you have to lead you back to it. Okay, okay, I don't think you understand what I'm saying right now. I don't think you get it. Let me say this in layman's terms your higher self Is playing a game of hide and seek With you right now. You forgot what you were.
Speaker 1:It sprinkles in these desires to make you think you want that physical thing and you're like, ooh, I want that car. Wow, and a higher sales like this mother. He over here, thinking he want that car. He don't want that car. He over here. Really, he trying to get to me. He's trying to get to me. Hey huh, say what? Metatron, listen, he thinks he wants the car, this car. I know he's hardheaded, I know y'all been showing him one, one, one. I know I already know I've been trying to tell him three, three, three, two, two, forget it. We don't even realize that we don't want the physical thing. We really are going back to our self, self with a capital, capital S. Remember what self was.
Speaker 1:Self was another word for spirit, higher self, the breath of God, the essence of you, the I am, the part of you that exists, is out of space and time. This is what you're trying to get back to. So every time that you have a desire, this is an opportunity for you to remember yourself Say it with me. Every time that I have a desire that prompts in me, whether it's an entrepreneurship, whether it's a new car, whether it's anything that you desire, that is an opportunity for you to remember another part of yourself. So this is why I'm telling you please hear me when I say this Any dream that comes to you, no matter how quote, unquote, big it may feel, honor that, honor that If you are a big dreamer right now.
Speaker 1:I salute you because you didn't come into this existence to play small. If you have big dreams, please hear me when I say this the only reason why they're big is because you're going to see a huge part of your higher self that you didn't even know existed. Your dreams will be in direct correlation to the level of your higher self that you're going to assume in this physical experience. So this is why I'm telling everybody dream as big as you motherfuckers can. Dream as big as you can, because the bigger your dream, the more of yourself you're going to get to remember.
Speaker 1:Now there's small fine print at the bottom here. When you have big dreams and I say big, big is obviously relative, please know that you're going to go through some shit I just go ahead and say that, alex, I just need to go ahead and put that out there. I don't want you to make you think well, derek told me I would dream big, but he ain't telling me it was going to be hard. Well, look, I'm telling you right now, small fine print, the part that we don't read, that part. This is just kind of like an insurance policy fine print. Right, the part that we don't read right that part. This is just kind of like an insurance policy, I guess you could say. The universe wants to basically collect collateral to ensure that you don't just get it and you don't grow.
Speaker 1:Okay, because that was the transaction, I will show you what you desire so you can create and bring heaven into earth and experience this physical reality the way you desire. But in return, because you and I are the same thing, I want to see what it's like to be you. I want to see what it's like to experience the polarity of fear, the polarity of shame and guilt. I want to see what it's like, and this is why we go through it. So the reason why I'm saying this to you right now is, please know that all of this is a part of this human experience, and I'm telling you from firsthand. Look, let me tell y'all something. Okay, I'm gonna go ahead and say this. I didn't tell y'all this story, but I'm gonna go ahead and tell it.
Speaker 1:Okay, I had this dream, this desire to go back to my old stomping ground, to where I lived. I want to go back to New Jersey. I haven't been back to New Jersey since 2007. We're looking at 18 years since I went back and I'm like, ooh, I can't wait to go back. I want to go back so I can see the parts of me that live there and I can go back and collect them and go on this soul reconnaissance mission and I can find all these old parts of myself. Man, what the was I thinking? You tell me. But here's the deal Ready. Here's how it showed up. I had this desire. I'm like I want to bring my family. I used to play basketball there in the summer league. I want to take my kids. It's my dream to always bring my family back here. So I went ahead. I went all out. This is the way my this is. I'm gonna let y'all in my world. I went ahead. I invited my parents, my in-laws, of course, my immediate family, my son's whole basketball team. I'm over here inviting everybody, and I see I have a history of that now that I think about it. True story.
Speaker 1:When I was nine years old, my dad used to always tell me James, if you listen to this, you know I was going to say this because I'm still holding you to this but he used to say like, oh yeah, we'll go do this, we'll go do that. And then we wouldn't go do it. Well, one day he told me we were going to go to Chuck E Cheese. I said, ok, we're going to Chuck E Cheese and you have a habit of saying you'm going to go tell every kid in this neighborhood and you're going to take all of us. I went and got all seven of my friends in the neighborhood. We showed up. We had nine. We were like nine, eight years old. One kid, michael Peterson, showed up with a hundred dollar bill. My dad was like what are you doing all this money? My dad was like man, what the? And he we laugh about it now, but he's like we had to go because you brought all of these kids and they told their parents. So point is we went to Chuck E Cheese.
Speaker 1:But I started to realize I have this habit of wanting to include everybody in my adventures and things. I want to share it with everybody. So I live in Indiana now. I lived all over the place, traveled to 70 different countries, the globe trials. I understand other places. There's not too many things that I don't understand when it comes to locations around the world. But here's what I've learned People in the Midwest, and I love people in the Midwest. I'm a Midwesterner through assimilation, I guess but people in the Midwest usually don't leave the Midwest. People in the Midwest usually don't get to go to New York City either.
Speaker 1:Well, I thought it would be a good idea to take 20 plus people to New York City from the Midwest, and I was the only one who's ever been to New York City. Now I'm going to let you go ahead and figure out that equation. I all of a sudden became a tour guide. I all of a sudden was responsible For 20 plus Indianians In the heart of New York City and Times Square. I knew something was up, I knew I was and, mind you, before we went to New York City, I was feeling good. I was feeling good.
Speaker 1:I went to the Princeton Summer League, got to play, played, played great, got inducted into the Hall of Fame. My family was there. I got to see my old trainer. I got to see all my high school coaches. I got to see all these people. It was fantastic and I was like dang, this is so great.
Speaker 1:Coming back, I realized, I realized what this was. This was me at age 42, going back to the place where I live, 16 through 25. And I'm looking at me right now from the past saying, wow, you became exactly who you thought you could be. You did it. Now, this is the first two days and I'm like yo, this was the best. I should have done this earlier. Why did I wait so long?
Speaker 1:Now we go to New York City and I've ridden a train in New York City from New Jersey. I can't tell you how many times we were on this train. And all of a sudden we're riding and I start to feel the train jolt and I hear this banging around. I'm like what is this? Did we just hit a deer? And then I start to see debris and I'm like did we just hit a tree? And I look out the window and I see the cable that's attached to the thing atop up top on the train had broke, it had busted. I'm like, oh, my goodness, we over here might derail. I don't know what's going on. And Carly's looking at me. She's like is this normal? I'm like, no, it ain't normal. It ain't normal on any train. You see that thing hanging right there. That ain't good. So anyway, before I know it, we stopped on the tracks.
Speaker 1:90 degree weather, no air conditioning in the train now no electricity. I got 20 plus people looking at me like what do we do? Is this normal? Is this what happens? And they have no idea. So they're like la, la, la, this is cool, we're on the track. I'm like, no, this ain't cool. It's going to get hot in here in a minute because everybody, all of a sudden my father-in-law comes up. He's like man, we can't sit back there. Somebody didn't put deodorant on and this heat is starting to get to him now. I said, yeah, welcome to the Northeast, but anyway, we have to get off that train to get on another train. And then we get on that train and they tell us, oh, you have to get off this train because you have to get on the next. And I'm like what in the world? So now I'm realizing this was way more than what I thought it was going to be. How many times has this happened?
Speaker 1:You have a desire, you have a goal that you get halfway along there and you're like man, what in the world was I thinking? I bit off way more than I can chew. You mean, I said I said I wanted to start a business. I didn't know I was gonna have to do taxes and all that. I just wanted to make money. Nobody told me I was gonna have to sit here and keep the books. Nobody told me I was gonna have to do payroll. I just wanted to make. I wanted to do what I love to do and make money doing it.
Speaker 1:I didn't know how to do all this, but anyway, we're at this point. I'm like yo, what is this going on? So, wow, we had this whole plan. We're gonna go to this diner that me and Carly had went to I don't even know what part of New York. It was in Midway Diner. Shout out Midway Diner If you've ever been to Midway Diner, if you haven't been go to it. So, anyway, we're all going to meet there and then we're going to go to Times Square. So we get off. We get off in Madison Square Garden. Now, mind you, it's 20 of us, excluding the grandparents. Okay, alright, we have my parents. My parents have been in New York City, and then we have Carly's parents. Those are the grandparents.
Speaker 1:You tell me why, when we got off in Penn Station, we couldn't find them and you know, I love them and I called my dad. I'm like Dad, where are you? He said. I'm sitting right here in front of Krispy Kreme. I said well, what else is around you? He said there's a Dunkin' Donuts, there's a Hudson News newsstand right there. And I said, well, I'm standing in front of Krispy Kreme Hudson News station newsstand and the other one, I'm standing right here in front of it. I don't see you, he goes. Well, I'm standing here. So I'm sitting here looking at him. I'm like, no, you're not, you're somewhere else right now. You probably ain't even in New York. You probably went to Vermont or something I don't know where, because they had to sit on another train. And I'm like where in the world are they?
Speaker 1:Well, this is so funny, right, I'm sitting here saying he's not here, he's somewhere else. He's sitting here saying, yes, I am here, and we're experiencing two different realities. So I said you know what I'm going to do. I'm going to call my mother, my mother. In times like this, she's the one who has the grounded voice. I said let me call her Mom. Where are you at? She says, well, I went to the bathroom. Which bathroom? Where? Which bathroom? There's 50 bathrooms in here, which bathroom are you in? So anyway, I finally find her. I'm like where's dad? She's like, well, he was right there in front of Hudson News. So, anyway, we ended up finally finding him. You tell me why in Penn Station there was two Hudson News, there was two Krispy Kremes. So he wasn't lying, he was actually standing. And I said, oh my goodness, I feel like right now I'm in a twilight zone, I'm in a whole nother world right now. Little did I know that this was a precursor to what was coming.
Speaker 1:So we continue on the day we end up making it to the diner, we eat, and I can feel my energy levels dropping. I can feel them dropping. I can feel it. I can feel it. I'm like, oh boy, what are we going to do? So, anyway, we start walking, go to Times Square. Really cool to go to Times Square the first time. The first time we went to Times Square, it was cool. But then we went to Times Square again later in the evening. That's a whole nother story that I will tell you about. But we took. It was only supposed to take like 55 minutes to get to where we wanted. It took three hours.
Speaker 1:And now here I am with a group of 20. I'm crossing the street. Anybody ever been in New York City? You cross the street in New York City. You ain't got a whole wind, you ain't got much time to cross the city. I mean, sorry, cross the street. Those cab drivers, they are going to be honking at you and they will let you know that it ain't your turn. So I cross it. I know this right, the little city boy inside of me saying like, all right, we got to go. I look back behind me. I'm across the street. The tail of this 20-person caravan hadn't even started to cross the street and I'm like, oh, is she going to get hit? He going to get hit. He definitely going to get hit. Oh, my gosh, I'm stressed out of my mind. I'm like what in the world is going on? Why is this happening? Right? So, anyway, we're making a time square.
Speaker 1:Then the kids were like oh, we want to go here, we want to go there. I said, okay, grandparents, listen, here's the deal. Y'all go ahead and wait here at Rockefeller Center, do whatever you like. Well, okay? Well, the girls want to go off here, here here. I said, okay, but here's the deal, y'all can do that, but y'all don't know where y'all are going. I'm so like I'm the one who feels responsible for all of this group.
Speaker 1:So we ended up going to Nike and going to all these places, these kids are like, oh, I'm going to go here, I'm going to get that and I want to get you. Tell me why. We went everywhere, every store we went to, none of them bought anything. So I'm sitting here saying I'm like we just walking around, for no, I could feel my levels of urkiness just rising rapidly. So I look at Carla and say, hey, look, I'm going to go ahead and tell you this. I'm getting to my threshold right now. I know we got to catch the train at five and I know we didn't get here till like two o'clock, but we got it. We got to get it, we got to get going. So she's like, okay, yep, yep, we'll go back Now.
Speaker 1:It was really cool because one of the parents in Times Square she had gotten this thing, this graphic, this advertisement, where the boys were up on this huge billboard, right, but here's the deal with that billboard. Okay, that billboard only showed them for three seconds, seven minutes after the hour. Okay, I did not know that the first time we went to Times Square. We get to Times Square, I'm like, oh, look, there's the boys. Wow, wow, wow, wow. Well, one of the boys wasn't there.
Speaker 1:So the mom was like we want to go back to Times Square so we can get a photo of all the boys. And I'm sitting here looking. I'm like you all do realize that that's a 27-minute walk that direction and we have to catch a train in the complete opposite direction. So we have a choice. All of a sudden I hear thunder and I look up and I see, oh my goodness, there's rain clouds. I'm not going to go to Times Square knowing it's going to rain. Well, make a long story short. I ended up going to Times Square knowing it was going to rain. We ended up getting there and when we got there it was like 4.30 something and I'm like we're going to wait here for another 40 minutes. And then it started to rain and it was like, okay, we got to get out of here. So make a long story short. We never even got the picture that we wanted and I'm just like I'm at my wits end. I am just so exhausted.
Speaker 1:We get on the train Now. I told you I was taking 20 plus people from the Midwest. Right, we get on the train and you know you need your ticket for the conductor to scan it, and one of the moms. She had her ticket on her phone but she didn't get service because we were below the ground. So she's like I'm going to get off so I can get service. And I look at her and I say, hey, don't you get off this train, because if you get off this train there's a good chance that they going to leave you. Now I'm seeing the Midwest through and through. I'm watching it right now. For some reason, midwest people think like, oh, everybody's nice, like us. No, that ain't the way it works when you leave the Midwest.
Speaker 1:So anyway, she gets off the train and we don't know where she is. And all of a sudden I start hearing the beeping doors and Carly's like, oh, they're going to leave her. And she goes back to the conductor, whatever the guy's name is. She goes there's somebody who's not on this train. He looked at her and goes eh, we got to leave. What do you want me to do about it? She came running back. She's like you're going to leave. I said I know, I told her that. I told her that she was going to leave. So anyway, the doors closed and I'm just thinking she's going to have to figure it out. We start moving Her husband's freaking out, her daughter's freaking out.
Speaker 1:I'm like she's going to be all right, there's another train coming here at some point. She will be fine. And then all of a sudden we see her walk up. I'm like, well, where'd you go? She goes. I just went to another train car. I was back there. I'm like, lord geez, you over here about to give everybody a heart attack. So here's my point. Right, I'm going to wrap this up because I know I'm going off on a tangent, but stay with me here.
Speaker 1:Three, four, five days after that, I was in a vibrational mosh pit, I call it. I was down. I mean, I was down down bad. I couldn't understand why. I couldn't understand why Before that I'd been rolling. I'd been rolling for months, I'd been fine, I'd been good, everything had been. I had this desire, this desire good God Almighty this desire to take my family back to where I was so I could recoup and get these parts of myself. But I thought it was going to be for the positive, and when I got back there it was that. But then I started to realize, as I got home and I'm still trying to get through it, everything, of course, you add everything to it. The Schumann residence was acting up and doing this thing, wilding out. But here's what I realized that desire that I had allowed me to get to a part of myself that I was so unaware of See.
Speaker 1:When I went back to New Jersey, I got back to the root of me that was developed in scarcity, the a dream. But you feel like you don't have enough time to accomplish that dream. You feel like you're too old. Oh, I want to do this and I want to accomplish this, but nobody's ever done. I'm too late, or I'm a mom and I have to wait till my kids move out. But my kids ain't going to get out until I'm 18. Until they're 18 and me.
Speaker 1:It started when I moved back to New Jersey. So now here I am, I come back and I'm living through scarcity. I'm talking about scarcity, scarcity so much to a point where I couldn't even see or think rationally. I had never been in this space. True story I was supposed to get a deposit. That deposit didn't come. They said the deposit. I said the bank stole my money. That's what I said. I said the bank stole it. They stole it. Carly's like the bank didn't steal anything. No, it didn't.
Speaker 1:She's over here trying to talk sense to me, and I realized once I came to I came out of it that was the view who lived in such scarcity you couldn't even see things rationally anymore and I was in such this dark place and it was so hard I told you, I took two naps. I took two naps back to back. I'd never do that. But then I realized what it was linked to. It was linked to that desire that I had to take my family back to a place that they had never been before. Do you see what that desire did? Now I'm through it. Now I got through, at least so I think. But all of these parts of me that came up because of the desire was there. If I didn't have the desire, I would have never gone back to New Jersey. If I had never gone back to New Jersey, I sure enough wouldn't have took 20 people from the Midwest to New York City. That wouldn't have happened. But because I took those people to New York City and I was able to experience fatigue and we know that fatigue is what weakens our mind to allow those things to come up to the surface that no longer serve us, I was able to get to a part of myself that I had not even known existed. Wow, that desire was the thing that got me there.
Speaker 1:Go after your dreams, go after your goals. Don't go after it for what you're going to accomplish or what you're going to get. Don't go after it for that. Go after it for who you're going to become along the journey. That's what the game was this whole time. It's about who can I become? What parts of me do I have to let go? Wow, I didn't even know I still had that in me. Wow, I didn't even know she was still there. This person in me still lives in this.
Speaker 1:Wow, it was never about accomplishing the physical thing, and when you do this, you'll start to see why your higher self was even giving you these prompts, these mental nudges, these spiritual lead, ways for you to go in that direction, or go, try that, or go and do that. So, when you feel something on your heart of hearts and your soul of souls, when you have a dream that comes to you, don't wait, take action on it, because here's your opportunity to become someone who you've never been. And I know you're going to go through a phase where you're going to feel like why am I doing this? Should I be doing this? That snake has to go blind for a little bit before it can become this new, longer, more equipped version. The same goes for you. So keep going, keep moving forward and, as always, I wish you nothing but the best on the pathway to your results.