The Pathway To Your Results
This podcast has been helping individuals remember what they truly were capable of before they forgot. Host Derick "DG" Grant dives deep into spirituality, metaphyics, and other topics to help listeners regain power of their minds. Remember, Life is Mental.
The Pathway To Your Results
Accountability Is Your Greatest Ability
What if the secret to overcoming life's challenges lies within the power of personal accountability? On this episode of Pathway to Your Results, we're uncovering how taking responsibility for our actions and choices can unlock immense personal growth. Inspired by my own journey, including the invaluable lessons instilled by my mother, we explore how nurturing accountability in ourselves and others can propel us beyond the limitations of victimhood and procrastination. From managing teams to raising children, the ripple effect of this mindset shift is profound, promising success in both personal and professional realms.
Once you see what you actually are, that you're an infinite, limitless being, you'll see that nothing exists outside of you. I'm your host, derek Grant, and this is the Pathway to your Results podcast. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Pathway to your Results podcast, presented by DG Mindset, hosted by your boy, dg. Oh, my goodness, this topic, this episode, this talking point, this is going to be transformational for you in your life, if you can pick up what I'm dropping off. We've talked about it, but I don't know if I've ever made an episode catered to this thing. I don't know if I've ever talked about this one thing for a whole episode, but this thing and this human experience, this energy, this ability is the greatest ability that a human being has to create its reality consciously, to manipulate energy consciously, to build a house around its life consciously. It is this ability that you have the greatest ability, and we're going to break this down. You know that we are. You know me, I'm not going to just get on here and start talking about something. I haven't done the research. But before we get started, I had to tell you a funny story. I told you when I come up with these podcasts, it's usually something going on in my life. It's a reoccurring theme, whether it's within me or something I keep talking to the clients. Whatever I had my retreat this past weekend out in the Grand Canyon. We had the itinerary, but I had not looked at the itinerary yet to see what it was I was talking about. Because a lot of times when I start talking I mean all this stuff is just stored in the cloud and I just pull it down out of the cloud, right? So I just need to know what it is and I can go find it and then I'll pull it down. But I'm asking my wife, carly I'm like what is the topic? What am I talking about? What's the topic? I need to know the topic for this particular talk this afternoon. What is the topic? What is the topic? I'm like I never know the topic. So then I told her I got to go record some podcasts today and she goes well, what's the issue? Because I wasn't doing it. She's like well, what's the issue there for it? But I know the topic on this one and she said why don't you do it on that? And I said girl, you stop playing with me right now. You're exactly right, because this is what the world needs to hear. This is what you needed to hear. This is what I need to remind myself of. This is what everyone needs to know at some point along this journey. See, I was fortunate, I was lucky. I had a mother and a father who this was their love language.
Speaker 1:You've heard me talk about this before, but it is this thing that we call accountability. Accountability, it is your ability to account. This will be the greatest muscle that you have. People think that it has to be discipline, people think that it has to be a willpower or perspective, and I've talked about these things, but accountability. Accountability is literally the driving force, the fuel behind all of these other muscles that you have within your mind. So here's what accountability looks like. Good God, almighty, y'all stay with me, because we're going to get going here in a minute. Accountability is myself being able to look myself in the mirror, and I don't need somebody to tell me to look in the mirror. Accountability is my ability to look myself in the mirror and then not turn away because it's uncomfortable. Accountability is me being able to look at my actions and look at them and look at the reflections of them in life and say you ain't doing what you know you need to do. Accountability is your greatest ability to create and manipulate energy and create your life. It's your ability to be accountable.
Speaker 1:So I told you growing up, I had a mother and a father who held me. They held me accountable. Oh, my mom's going to hold me accountable. She's going to do that. That is one thing she will do. Ms Margo LeGay Grant, you better believe she is going to hold you accountable. This is one of the greatest things that she gave me. Both of them did. But I'm just talking here about mom and I remember she used to always tell me she said son, if you get old enough, one day, you'll understand why I'm doing this. You will understand why I'm doing this. I'd be like, no, I ain't going to know. I ain't never going to be. You know how kids are. Right Now that I'm a 41-year-old man, I can see now this was one of the greatest things that she could ever give to me. It wasn't what she could do for me. It was her helping me strengthen my accountability muscles so I could be able to have my accountability muscle develop when it was time when I was an adult.
Speaker 1:So when we start thinking of what accountability looks like the metaphor that we can use, or the parable is accountability, especially with children, is teaching them how to fish instead of giving them a fish. So I would teach my children how to be accountable for their own lives. So I started easy. Me and my wife started with teaching them to make up your bet. Whether you make up your bet or not really is irrelevant. Throughout the day it doesn't matter if you made your bet up or not. Nobody's going to say, hey, did you make up your bed? Nobody gives up, nobody care. But I had to teach my children.
Speaker 1:The reason why I have you make up your bed is so you can start to become accountable for something in your life. So it started off with you got to make up your bed. You have to remind them the next day. You have to remind them the next day, you remind them the next day. Maybe they'll go two days. They made it up in a row and then you got to remind them again, and it went on and on and on.
Speaker 1:I used to say to my son I'm like how many days do I have to remind you? How many days do I have to keep reminding you of what you have to do, and then he'd go like three, four, five days, and then he'd say he'd forget and he wouldn't make up his bed, was actually me holding him accountable. And because I could hold him accountable, it was teaching himself how to hold himself accountable. So you can't hold yourself accountable as a child until somebody has held you accountable. We'll get to that here in a little bit, but now I don't have to tell my son to make up his bed. I don't have to tell my daughter to make up their bed. I don't have to say it anymore. Why? Because they hold themselves accountable.
Speaker 1:So this is a microcosm of life. See, when you start doing the work on you, when you start going back into these places or these depths of your soul that you've been maybe running away from, and you start doing that, you ain't got nobody to blame. Now and now, because I can't blame anybody, I'm being accountable, I can't be the victim. And now, because I'm not the victim, I can actually start to do something with it. We about to get going. Y'all stay with me here. I can do something with my life now, because my life is not me in this state of victimhood, in the state of this victim consciousness, because I have become accountable for everything that I'm experiencing my reality Now. Am I accountable? Sorry, did I have a say in what happened and how it happened in my past? No, I did not, but I have a say in how I process it and how I hold on to it. That's what accountability does. So I deal with a lot of people. I have a lot of conversations right, and people I constantly keep hearing it's like well, they did this and this happened and this. I hear that, but hear me when I say this that was about 30 something years ago.
Speaker 1:What have you done to accept responsibility, to be accountable for the perspective that you are still holding in the story that you are still telling yourself based off of a situation that you have formed an identity around? Tell me that. Where's your level of accountability to be able to say you know what? This wasn't what I wanted. I didn't agree with how I was treated. What they did to me was uncalled for. But I will no longer be defined by situations that have happened in my life. I will no longer look at my self-worth based on how someone else views me. I will no longer accept myself based on whether or not someone else has given me permission to accept myself.
Speaker 1:You see how this works. This is what we call being accountable. So you know me the wordsmith. I got to go back to the roots, the origins. I want to know everything right.
Speaker 1:So I start looking up the etymology of the word accountable. Accountable, accountability, what does that mean? Accountable is an adjective, it says, and it says liable to be called to account, answerable. Good God, almighty, y'all stay with me because I'm about to get going. And here's the other thing. I know none of y'all are trying to hear what I'm saying right now.
Speaker 1:Some of us listening to this podcast right now, this may be a little bit triggering because somebody is holding you accountable to hold you accountable, but when we start understanding, being accountable means being liable to be called to account. You had to be able to call yourself to account for yourself. You had to be able to answer to yourself based off of your actions or your lack of action. You was going to have to do it. And here's the thing Once you do it for yourself, now we don't need anybody to do it. And not because I don't need anybody to do it, I'm not getting myself in these toxic relationships. I'm not repeating the cycle of constantly hoping somebody's going to hold me accountable before I hold myself accountable. It ain't never going to happen that way. So here's what else I noticed Accountability is actually the thing, the muscle that's going to drive you towards.
Speaker 1:Whatever your goal was, whatever your destination was. Accountability is actually the thing, the muscle that's going to drive you towards. Whatever your goal was, whatever your destination was. Accountability was what was going to say I'm going to get there, I'm going to do it. Accountability was saying if I fall short at some point, I'll be the one to look myself in the eye and say what are you doing? So I went and spoke with the team. I'm not going to say who it is. I went and spoke with the team. They had goals. They wrote down all the goals. We picked the destination and said where do y'all want to go this year? And they said here's our goals. They wrote down this, they had this. They had total wins in a year. They had what else? They had all these other things.
Speaker 1:I said, okay, cool, what's our level of accountability? I need to know that house. You can say that you want to build that business, but if you do not have actions that support that, you might as well go sit your butt in the corner right now. It ain't going to happen. So I started to ask him. I said what's our level of accountability? I said can you say something to her? Can you say something to him right there? If you say something to him, how does he receive it? How do you receive it when somebody says something? And here's what we started to notice Everybody felt some type of way when someone else would hold them accountable.
Speaker 1:Good God, almighty, y'all ain't trying to hear nothing I'm saying right now you know why you can't hold anybody, why somebody can't hold you accountable and why you can't hold somebody else accountable Because you don't hold yourself accountable. I'm not going to let nobody tell me what to do if I can't even tell myself what I need to do. You see, this is the blame game, this is the victimhood, and this is why it's so hard to be held accountable is because, when you're living in the state of the victim, you don't want anybody to point out the fact that you are the victim, because the only reason why you were the victim was because there was a wound. And if there's a wound, the ego is going to do all that it can to protect it. So that's why I won't hold myself accountable.
Speaker 1:And now here's what ends up happening. It becomes this perpetual cycle this snowball, this downhill event, and now guess what? You start to procrastinate. You start to procrastinate and now you're not getting to the goal, all because we couldn't hold ourselves accountable. So when we start to look at deeper into the word and what it means, so we have accountable, and then we have accountability. Right, we have accountability. Good God, accountability. I said your greatest ability is accountability. That is where your power is, when you can look yourself in the face and hear me when I say this.
Speaker 1:I know that some of us did not learn how to be held accountable. I realized that this is privilege that I'm speaking from, because I had two parents, that because their parents held them accountable, because maybe it was done out of necessity, because their parents had to be to teach them, because their parents had to be accountable because if they weren't accountable it was literally life or death, I realized that this is a privilege. So I realized that this was generational trauma that got passed down, that ended up kind of working out and being a positive. But I also realized back, I got ancestors. I got ancestors. If they couldn't hold themselves accountable, mass are going to hang them. You better not do that. You better be on top of your P's and Q's or else, oh my goodness, mass are going to get you. This is slavery. So I started to see and started studying, looking at on a cultural level, how the level of accountability is sometimes developed out of necessity.
Speaker 1:So when you start looking up the word accountability, you start to see that accountability is a sense.
Speaker 1:It's your power. It's your power. It's you taking your power back. I don't need anybody to tell me to do something. I don't need somebody to point out what I'm not doing. I don't need somebody else to try and heal my wounds. I need to do it for myself. I'm the one who's being accountable to say you know what? I'm tired of feeling this way. I'm tired of waking up and looking at myself in the mirror and thinking that I'm less than I'm tired of it. That's what it means to be accountable. You're taking your power back. So you know me. One rabbit hole leads to the next. So I'm looking up the word power.
Speaker 1:I got to see the etymology of the word power. Right, and it comes from the word power, spelled P-O-U-E-R. We have account and then we have ability. You have account and then you have ability. You have account and then you have ability, and then we put the words together. We get accountability. We know what account means. We know what that means. That means to be liable to answer to yourself. But now, when we look at ability, ability is connected to the word power.
Speaker 1:Power means ability, ability to act, ability to do, ability to act, ability to do. This is coming in live, from the source. Right now, I told you, on the three planes, we have the actor, we have the acting and then we have the action. This is how creation works. We have the creator, we have the acting and then we have the action. This is how creation works. We have the creator, you have the creating and then you have the creation. In order for these three to manifest, there was going to have to be acting. I was going to have to act. But acting involves ability.
Speaker 1:Ability when you attach it to accountability, meaning I can look at myself and say you ain't doing it right now. You ain't acting like how you said you wanted to become. You are not being who you said you wanted to be. You said that you were tired of having these wounds. You said that you were tired of not being all that you could and being tired of being sick and tired. You said that you were tired of carrying all of these energetic wounds, this trauma. You were tired of it. You told me that you were tired of being in this relationship and caring for those three kids when that husband isn't even helping out and you feel like a single mother who's married. You told me that you was tired of it.
Speaker 1:But when I look at your actions, your actions do not support what you are saying, and this is what we call a lack of integrity. See, integrity is what I said and what I felt. You could see it in my actions. That's really what's happening, you see. But in order for me to do that, in order for me to have high integrity, I was going to have to flex this ability, have high integrity. I was going to have to flex this ability, my greatest ability. I was going to have to be able to answer to myself. That's accountability. Do we see? Now we're just getting started now I don't know how long you got, but this podcast is going to be here for a pretty minute you start to notice that everything that you did in your life, everything that you experienced, was either because you used the muscle of accountability or because you were unaccountable.
Speaker 1:It's that simple. I'm either using it and being accountable or I'm not using it. And now I'm not accounting for myself. And we know that when we are a victim, we will be yoked around through life. I know, hello, this was me. I used to think that life was just going to happen. I'd go outside and let my puppy dog at the time he was a puppy, but now he's a full grown boxer I would let him out at night and sit here and look up at the stars and say God, please, why, please, save me, please, what, what, what you going to do, derek? What are you going to do? You sit here waiting for something, someone, somehow, to save you, when you haven't even been accountable enough in your life to make change.
Speaker 1:Never once have you looked in your mirror and said what do I need to do differently to change this situation? Never once have you asked yourself what did I do to put myself in this situation? Oh, you better believe it hurt. You better believe it stung. You better believe it was painful. You better believe it was triggering. You better believe it brought up a lot of things in me.
Speaker 1:There was days when I cried. There was days when I didn't think I was going to do it so much to the point. I was so unaccountable and if this is triggering I'm sorry, but I'm just keeping it real. I was so unaccountable I wanted to kill myself. I couldn't do it. No more, I couldn't do it. My muscle had gotten atrophied. My accountability muscle had gotten atrophied. I didn't even want to live life anymore because I thought the cards that I was being dealt, the hand that I was given it was a bad hand. It was a bad hand. It was a bad hand. Now life's against me. Now I keep getting myself in these constant situations that keep putting me lower and lower and lower.
Speaker 1:Never once, never once, did I ever take time to look myself in the mirror and say what do I need to do differently? What do I need to do? How quickly when we're the victim? We will take that finger. We will take that index finger you can put on the right hand or the left hand Maybe some of us use both hands and we will take that mother finger and we will point it at someone other than ourselves. How often do we do that?
Speaker 1:The moment that you point to somebody else, the moment that you point and look at somebody else, you're the victim. And if you're the victim, you ain't going to do nothing but be victimized. And if you're victimized, you ain't going to do nothing but be victimized. And if you're victimized, how in the world are you going to hold yourself accountable? Do we see how this works? So, if you want to lose weight, doesn't matter. If you want to build that job, it doesn't matter what it is. You're going to have to be the one who looks yourself in the mirror and say am I doing it? Am I doing it? That's the question I ask myself. I know where I want to go. Am I doing it, though? Am I doing it? Am I doing everything that I can in this moment, from this level of awareness that I have? Am I doing it right now? If the answer is no, we got some work to do. We got some work to do. What do we got to do?
Speaker 1:So I say this with children. Right, with children, I can use both examples. With my children, I told you a story about my daughter and she was struggling with school and being liked and all these you know, just really prepubescent, right Fourth grade. She's trying to find her way through life and she's struggling with her self-concept and whether or not people like her and what do they think about her. And at times my son does too, and at times, as me, as an adult, I do too.
Speaker 1:But I said this is a teaching moment. And I looked at her. I said, hey, I love you. You know that, I love you. I love you so much. I'm not going to let you be unaccountable for your life. I'm not going to let you do it, and hear me when I say this.
Speaker 1:I went and sat on her bed. I said you're going to start crying and you're going to feel like I'm coming down on you, but this is the muscle of accountability. All I'm doing right now is helping you to strengthen your muscle so you can be accountable. Good God, almighty, you can be accountable for your life, your emotions, your thoughts, your perspective, your self-concept, your permission slips, your self-acceptance, your self-approval. You don't need anyone else to do it for you. This is what we call power, and it was like teaching how to make up a bed.
Speaker 1:It took time. It took times. One day was good, next day was rough, next day was good, next day was rough. Next day was rough, then next three days would be good. Then next day was rough.
Speaker 1:And I looked at her. I said, listen, I'm only holding you accountable because I know you got it in you. Good God, almighty, y'all ain't trying to hear nothing I'm saying. Y'all ain't trying to hear, not one word I'm saying right now, the only reason why I'm holding you accountable is because I know that the divinity that's within you comes equipped with every tool, every ability, every capability already inside of it. So I would not be asking you to do something that was not already inside of you. You already had the butterfly inside of you, you already had the oak tree inside of you. You already had your greatness inside of you. So I said I'm not going to let you sit here and not tap into your greatness. You know why? Because if I'm not tapping into my greatness, meaning I'm not being all that I'm capable of being and doing all that I'm capable of doing, I'm not gonna let myself slide. So how much easier is it now for me to hold you accountable? I can do it because I do it for myself.
Speaker 1:So I told you, that team that I was working with and I was talking to. They couldn't hold each other accountable. They couldn't hold each other accountable. They couldn't. You know why they couldn't hold each other accountable? They couldn't. You know why they couldn't hold each other accountable? Because they didn't know how to hold themselves accountable. See, anytime we got a team. A team is just the macro of a bunch of micros, meaning it's just the collective of a bunch of individuals. You see how this works. So we could try to fix, you could try to fix the marriage. Go ahead and try to fix the marriage, go and try to fix the team, go and try and fix the unit. But you better realize that that unit, that team, that marriage, is comprised of individuals, and until the individual can hold itself accountable, meaning we stop blaming the other partner Well, you didn't do this and you didn't do that.
Speaker 1:What did you do? What didn't you do? What didn't you do? You see, before I sit here and throw stones at a glass house, I got to look inside of my house and that's going to be hard, that's going to be tricking. Why? Because we had rooted our identity in being a victim.
Speaker 1:This is the way this matrix is set up. This matrix is set up purposely for us to not to be able to be accountable. It takes more energy to be accountable than it does to be a victim. Y'all ain't trying to hear nothing. I'm about to get off this thing right now. Ain't nobody trying to hear nothing? I'm saying right now, it takes more energy for you to get your butt up off of the couch and go and work out than it does for you to sit on the couch and watch TV. Do you see? The system is set up for you to be a victim. The system is set up for you to be unaccountable. That's the way it's set up. Why would they do that? See, here we go again. There goes that spiritual ego blaming the matrix. We ain't going to blame no matrix.
Speaker 1:How about we look at it like this it was set up for me, so I, so I good God almighty, so I would have some resistance to swim upstream. I would have some resistance to put some more weight on that dumbbell. I would have some more resistance so that my soul could be developed just a little bit more through this resistance. So maybe that's why this system was set up this way on a universal, on a spiritual, on a divine level. It was so the soul would have something to work against, because it was trying to strengthen itself to a point that it would see just a little bit more of what it was the indwelling spirit, the absolute, the all God, whatever you want to refer to it as. What, if that's the reason why it was so difficult for us to hold ourselves accountable? It was divinely orchestrated, it was divinely choreographed to ensure that we would have something to strengthen this muscle of accountability, of accountability. See, when you're accountable, you can't even be the victim. You can't be the victim. It doesn't even go. It doesn't.
Speaker 1:Even now, at this point in life, at this point, I can't even grasp how something or someone is outside of me, even when I'm going through life and I've got business, and there's hurdles and there's walls. You've got to try to figure out this and how to grow this. And there's days when I'm frustrated, there's days when I'm like man, what the I can't. But even in that, I know that this is only me. It will always be me. It has always been me. I know for a fact it's me. Now, hear me when I say this.
Speaker 1:I don't always have control over the situations. Sometimes I do. I don't always have control over the relationships. Sometimes I do. I don't always have control over the opportunities and how fast they come. Sometimes I do. But here's what I do have a control over. I have control over how I experience this mother. I have experience over how I perceive it. I have experience over how much this is going to affect me. I do have a control over that. I remember my mom.
Speaker 1:My mom used to tell me this when I was young right, she used to say stop trying to be accountable for someone else. I'm going to go ahead and say that again, because I know y'all aren't picking up what I'm dropping down and you ain't trying to hear nothing that I'm saying. It's probably been a while since you stopped trying to hear what I was saying. Stop trying to be accountable for someone else. Every time that you walk through life and you're worried about what somebody else thinks of you, that is you trying to be accountable for someone else's perspective of you. But their perspective of you was none of your business, because their perspective of you was shaped off of past experiences that you had no say in. Matter of fact, you probably weren't even alive when their experiences were created. That shaped their perspective of you. Do you see how this works? So here you are, walking around, worried about what they're going to think, worried about how they're going to feel, worried about how they're going to perceive you.
Speaker 1:But Wait, hold on. Now you mean to tell me we are more accountable for someone else's perspective of us than we are of our perspective of ourselves, yourselves. You mean to tell me that I'm more accountable for somebody else's actions that were inflicted upon me than I am for my own actions to rectify it. You mean to tell me that I'm going to continue to perpetuate this generational trauma that was passed down to me through abuse, maybe through trauma, through something that was inappropriate. And now I'm going to stay in the state of victimhood and be more accountable for what they did to me through abuse, maybe through trauma, through something that was inappropriate. And now I'm going to stay in the state of victimhood and be more accountable for what they did to me than for what I have done for myself. I just had to take a pause right now. I just had to take a pause right now. We just have to. Let's just regroup, just regroup real quick. Okay, this, this, this is what happens. This is what happens? We won't, we won't, we won't, we don't get taught, we don't get programmed right. This is part of the game, right? This is a cool part of being a human, right? This is the best part of being a human.
Speaker 1:We came into this game to play hide and go seek, but sometimes when you play hide and go seek, you know how it is. You ever played hide and go seek. I used to play. I went and play, I went paintballing, right, hid because I knew the team was coming to look for me, right? So I went and hid and I found some bushes and I hid down in the bush. And I hid so much down in the bush I actually fell asleep. I took like a 10 minute power nap and the game was going on on the outside and I fell asleep and I forgot for that moment what I was doing. I forgot that I was actually inside of the game because I fell asleep playing the game of hide and seek.
Speaker 1:This is what ends up happening to us. We don't realize we hid ourselves from ourselves so we would have something to find, but then, guess what? We fall asleep and we never go look for it. This is what accountability does. Accountability is going to say wait, why do I believe what I believe? Why do I feel the way I feel? Is this me or is this somebody else? You're going to start to reflect, you're going to start to contemplate, and when we do that now, we can start to change the game. This is when you step into your power. This is the one who has the power, this is the one who has the authority. It's the man who's accountable for his own life. So I don't care what's going on in the government, I don't care what's going on in the world, I don't care what's going on outside of this skull that I have. It does not matter, because, guess what? Nothing on the outside can ever get on the inside. Nothing on the outside can ever get on the inside. I'm trying to give you your power back and give you some of my accountability. Nothing on the outside can ever get to the inside.
Speaker 1:When you start looking at this story of Jesus, do we not see what this was? They did everything they did. They flogged him, they made him walk to his grave, they beat him. They did all of these things, but none of those things could get to that which he was, because there was a level of accountability, meaning y'all can't get to me. Y'all can't get to that what I actually am. Y'all can do whatever you need to want. You can call me every name in the book, it does not matter. And this is how we beat the game. This is how you beat death. This is how you beat all of these things that kept you from being all that you truly are. It was you saying I can't let you or him or this impact me unless I say it's okay. So I'm going to go ahead and say this Stay with me here. Stay with me. Stay with me here, stay with me. I know what it's going to be. There's a part of me that's going to want to run. You ain't going to want to hear this. You're going to want to run. You ain't going to want to hear this. I know it. I know it.
Speaker 1:Some of us got to stop being so accountable for our partner. If you could see me right now, I would have a glass of tea, like Kermit and saying, but that's none of my business. Some of us are trying to be more accountable for our partners, our business partners, our husbands, our wives partners, our business partners, our husbands, our wives. We trying to be more accountable for another adult than they are for themselves. Y'all ain't trying to hear nothing that I'm saying. And now, guess what? Your butt is frustrated. Your behind has resentment. You resentful because they're not being accountable as much as you are. You're putting more into the accountability pot for them than they're putting in themselves. And now you got resentment. We know where resentment was. It was just when two people one had given more than the other, or at least it was perceived that way.
Speaker 1:How about this? You take your unaccountability and you stop projecting it onto somebody else, because that's really what it is. Anytime I try to be accountable for somebody else more than they are for themselves, it's because I'm actually not being accountable for me. I would be able to look at it and say he ain't going to fix himself. He ain't, which is okay. If that's the choice that he makes, then so be it. This is his life. Do with it as he may.
Speaker 1:But I tell you one thing I gotta be accountable for me. I'm not gonna sit around here and walk around here and loathe because he's not being accountable. One of us got to be accountable. And here's the deal that accountability might sting. There might be some changes. There might be some shake-up, there might be some furniture moving, meaning the situation won't look like how it did. There may be some moving out, there may be some jewelry coming off of some fingers, but I tell you one thing I'm going to be accountable for me and I suggest that you be accountable for you, and if we want to have a healthy relationship, this is how we're going to do it. So now you don't have to point fingers at me and I don't have to point fingers at you. We can point fingers at ourselves, but here's the deal Because I can point these fingers at myself, I need you to point that finger at me when I'm not doing what I need to. Goodness gracious, this is how we hit our greatness. Everybody has the seed of greatness inside of us, every single one of us.
Speaker 1:When you can receive someone holding you accountable right, you hear the message and you don't get caught up in the messenger. You don't listen to the tone, you listen to what's being said and somebody can say hey, you ain't doing what you need to. I remember my wife told me early on. She said the way you speak and what you do and the way you do it, it bothers me. And it took years. She was like you're doing it again. It's the way you're talking to me.
Speaker 1:I said, okay, you're right. You're right, I got to do better. You're right, you're right, I got to do better. You're right Because I had enough accountability. I was looking to improve myself and do whatever. I can take what you're saying to me. Now, don't get me wrong. It may sting, it may bother me. The ego's like no, you're the one who, no, but you're right. I got to look myself in the mirror and say what can I do differently? You're right If you're expressing to me that you don't like the way I'm saying it. It's not what I'm saying. It's the way I'm saying it that I need to change the way I say it. I can hold myself accountable and I can look at myself and say you know what? You know good and well. That ain't the way you need to say it. I'm telling you right now it doesn't matter if it's marriage, it doesn't matter if it's a business partnership, it doesn't matter if it's a relationship with your kids.
Speaker 1:Accountability is literally a superpower. It's a superpower. And here's the deal with kids. Don't think that you're going to raise these kids. Don't think that you're going to raise these kids. Don't think that you're going to raise these kids To be More accountable Than how accountable you hold yourself. How am I going to tell my son or my daughter Don't do this, go do that. If I can't even do that for myself? How am I going to do my son or my daughter don't do this, go do that. If I can't even do that for myself, how am I going to do it? So guess what I'll do. Here's what we end up doing. We don't hold ourselves accountable and we can't hold our kids accountable, so guess what we'll do. We'll do whatever makes the child feel good.
Speaker 1:Knowing good and well this is a teaching moment right now. Knowing good and well that I got to make this uncomfortable for you right now as much as it is for me. I want to let you go do this. I want you to let you go hang out with friends. I got to hold your butt accountable because you know better than this. But in order to do that, I'd have to be able to hold myself accountable, and this is where we get in trouble sometimes, as parents, I see it.
Speaker 1:Sometimes we try to be our kid's friend. My mom told me earlier. She said I ain't here to be your friend. She used to make me cry, mom, I know you're listening to this right now. I used to. I was like, dang, she ain't here to be my friend. I thought she was going to be. She said I'm not here to be your friend. That is not what I'm here for. I am here to raise you, meaning. I am here to give you a foundation and show you, through my actions, of how you will hold yourself accountable. See, this is the thing that we don't understand sometimes as parents. Our children are going to treat themselves and be the way with themselves, the way that we are with them, but if we're not careful, if we don't give them the foundation of showing themselves of how to hold themselves accountable, then guess what's going to happen? Life's going to happen. They're going to get out in school, they're going to get out in society, and now everything will be somebody else's fault.
Speaker 1:I'm telling you, right now I'm having to talk with my son. He stopped doing it, but we had this long talk. He come home and they did this and they did that and I said I don't want to hear nothing about it. I don't want to hear it. I don't want to hear it. I don't want to hear anything about anyone else.
Speaker 1:Can I give you a true story? I'll give you a true story. So somebody in his class had picked up his iPad right, because they use iPads now. Right, somebody picked up his iPad and they took his iPad home. Well, he had a lot of homework that he had to do, but he's like he didn't have his iPad. So his teacher was like hey, it's no problem, nope, nope, no problem at all. You can do your homework when you get your iPad. And the next day she didn't bring the iPad and she didn't bring the iPad again. So here's what ended up happening. Now he's got all this homework to do because it's just stacking up. It's just stacking up. It's just stacking up. It's just stacking up, gone.
Speaker 1:I'm like, hey, buddy, I need you to pick up all the dog mess in the backyard. I need you to pick that up because I was going out of town. I knew it was getting out of hand, right, so I need you to pick it up. He said OK. So I asked him on Wednesday. By the time Sunday came, he still hadn't. I said, hey, did you do it? No, I forgot. Ok, cool. I got home one day I said hey, did you do it? He goes oh, I forgot, it's raining outside. I said hey, I need you to go pick that out outside. He said it's raining. I said so what? Now some of us we may say that's cold, that's harsh, why? It was a deeper lesson. For him. I said you see what's happening right now with your iPad. For him, I said you see what's happening right now with your iPad.
Speaker 1:It's easy for you to say well, she took my iPad. The hard thing, would say, is I actually left my iPad on the desk because I forgot to grab it when we went to band and because I forgot to grab it before I went to band. When I left, when it was time to leave school, she had already picked it up because she didn't have band. I actually forgot it. That accountability would take you saying me I didn't do it. Now here's the other thing. You may look at me and say why are you making me pick it up to poop and it's raining? Because you were supposed to pick it up four days ago.
Speaker 1:Y'all ain't trying to hear nothing. I'm saying Y'all ain't trying to hear nothing. I'm saying no-transcript unless the parent is able to put it in the child. The child's not going to be able to do it. So, man, I had to take him to basketball. So we're sitting in the car.
Speaker 1:I said do you realize why I did this? He's like no. I said here's why Because I need you to see the connection between you not doing this and then not doing this. And his eyebrows went up. He was like oh. I said see. You see, when you're accountable, you'll start to see how things are connected. And when you see that how things are connected, now you start to see how things are connected. And when you see that how things are connected, now you start to see the cause and effect. And when you see the cause and effect, now you can start to manipulate the effects, because you take care of the causes. But you can't take care of the causes if you don't have bare minimum certain level of accountability. I could go on and on for hours, but I know one thing you ain't trying to hear nothing I'm saying right now.
Speaker 1:So what is my point? We all have the ability to be accountable and hold ourselves accountable. Maybe some of us don't know how. Some of us don't know how. I'm not going to sit up here on my high horse and think, well, yeah, everybody can't know, some of us just never learned. We didn't have parents who were present. We didn't have parents who had a level of accountability to hold to teach us how to hold ourselves accountable. We didn't have parents who were present. We didn't have parents who had a level of accountability to teach us how to hold ourselves accountable. We didn't.
Speaker 1:And this is part of the healing journey. This is part of the healing journey. I got to go ahead and take this sweatshirt off because I'm getting hot, because we have to really get into it. I told you this was going to be a long one. I told you what it was going to be. This was going to be a long one. I told you what it was going to be. This was going to be a long one. How in the world are you going to heal? How in the world are you going to heal if you don't accept accountability for your own life? It's going to be really hard. You'll get to a point. You'll get to a point. You'll get to a point. You'll get to a point. No-transcript.
Speaker 1:The self-development they cap out, they hit the wall, they hit the ceiling. And the reason why they hit the ceiling is because they made it to a point where supreme accountability is going to have to come in. You know how it is, when you got the little muscles but then you got the big muscle, I got supreme accountability. And supreme accountability is coming from the divine. That is the part that we have to step into.
Speaker 1:I got to be able to look at myself and say you know what? Yeah, there was some abuse that took place. There was some abuse that took place. It still plagues me to this day. But you know what? I know what I am, and all that I am cannot be hurt or touched by those things that are happening on this physical plane or that has happened. I am that I am. That is supreme accountability. I am that I am. When you move into that space now, it ain't no thing but a chicken wing for you to start moving past these things that hurt and that are so painful. This is why I made healing a full-time job. I made it a full-time job because I started to realize oh my goodness, oh my goodness, if I'm accountable for myself on a supreme level. When I say supreme, that's another word for divine, or universal, or spiritual with a big S, if I can move into supreme accountability. Now I can hold others accountable just by my energy, just by me being who and how I am.
Speaker 1:My mother was a perfect example of this. Mom was supremely accountable. You weren't going to not be accountable and be in her presence. It wasn't going to happen. It can't happen. Mom's going to let you know. Mom, I know you listen to me. I already know what it is. Don't you come half-stepping, would you? Don't you come half-stepping because I'm going to let you know. I'm not telling you to make you feel bad. I'm telling you because I know you got it inside of you. I know you got it inside of you. I know you can do this.
Speaker 1:We used to say this in the sports world If you got a coach who doesn't get on you, you should be more worried than a coach who does get on you. If I can't hold you accountable, you ought to be more worried about that. Because now two problems I got somebody who's over me who can't hold themselves accountable, and then number two. Number two you going to just let me slide, because there's times when we can't see stuff within ourselves. That's usually the way it works. This is why every coach is going to just let me slide, because there's times when we can't see stuff within ourselves. That's usually the way it works. This is why every coach is going to need a coach.
Speaker 1:If you a coach and you ain't got a coach, you ain't a coach. Everybody's going to need somebody to help us see our blind spots. Everybody's going to need somebody to help us see the things that we cannot see within ourselves, but if I don't have a mentor, if I don't have someone in my life who's going to at least light the flame of accountability, saying nah, bro, that ain't it. Hey, I know you've been in this marriage for a while, but that ain't it. I'm just telling you from this is my perspective, though. We need something or someone around us that will help us to move into that space.
Speaker 1:Now, I was fortunate enough. It was my parents. Start to look around, look at your life, look at who surrounds you. If I don't do what I know I need to do, is somebody around me going to tell me, or are they going to just let me go? Hmm, do I have a bunch of yes men around me? If I got a bunch of yes men or yes ma'ams around me and I'm going through something. I'm going through something because here's the other thing that I hear. Here's the other thing I'm going through something and I'll call my girlfriend, who I know ain't going to hold me accountable. I'm going through something, maybe in my marriage or maybe in the business, or maybe in a relationship, and I'm going to call the one who's going to let me vent and let me talk and come lay in my muck with me instead of saying what are you talking about? You sitting here blaming him? But you're the one who's doing X, y and Z. I'm not saying it from a place of putting you down. I'm just saying it from a place of love and accountability, so you can stop being the victim. You can stop being the victim. Y'all ain't trying to hear me right now. Y'all ain't trying to hear me.
Speaker 1:Coach took you out the game. Coach took you out the game. You know why coach took you out the game. You know why coach took you out the game Because coach is trying to tell you in an energetic way this right here, isn't it? You got to do better, you need to do more. But guess what we're going to do? We're going to blame coach.
Speaker 1:Oh man, coach hating on me, coach, don't like. I used to see, I used to coach. I used to coach basketball. I coach little kids. Now I used to coach high school, right, man, you tell a guy come over here, man, y'all hating on me, y'all don't think I'm good enough.
Speaker 1:I didn't say that. That's not what I'm saying. I'm taking you out so you can reflect and see what it was you needed to do differently, do we see? But as long as we play the victims, they're hating on me, they're keeping me from doing it. As long as we point outward, we'll never be able to get to where we were truly destined and capable of getting to. So as long as we keep perpetuating this cycle, that we keep this narrative, that we keep telling ourselves that they did this to us and they did that, I've made a commitment to myself.
Speaker 1:From here on out, y'all ain't going to hear nothing about Florida. Y'all ain't going to hear nothing. I'm letting that chapter go. That's why I shaved that beard and I shaved my mustache. I let that version of me go. I'm not going to sit here and talk about the part of me that is no longer serving. It had done its point. It has done its job up until a point.
Speaker 1:This is accountability. I'm not going to get to where I want to go talking about where I don't want to be. Do you see how this works? Nobody ever, ever got rich talking about poverty. Nobody ever became happy studying how to be sad. You're never going to get before you know it. We sit here in this lower vibration, we're in this lower vibration, living in this perpetual cycle of victimhood and guess what? I'm a victim, she's a victim, we all a victim. Why? Because this is energy and training. We just all resonating at the same frequency. That's all it is.
Speaker 1:But now no one has enough accountability to wake up and say what are we doing? What are we doing? No, I'm not doing. I can't hang out with y'all anymore. I can't hang out with y'all. I can't hang out with y'all anymore. Why? Because y'all only want to talk about what has happened. Okay, it happened. What are we going to do differently now so we can change and say where are we going? I started to notice when you go around home sometimes you get around people they only talk about what has happened. I like to talk about what's going to happen. I like to be a visionary. I'm not saying one's better than the other, but that stuff that had happened has only served a purpose up until a point. Once you get to a point, it ain't going to serve a purpose anymore. Let's talk about who we're going to be and where we're going to go Accountability, accountability.
Speaker 1:I see this right now and I'm going to say this last thing and I got to keep it moving I'm trying to help you. This is what accountability looks like. Accountability is raw, it's rugged, it's unreal. Sometimes, quite frankly, it stinks. Hmm, I have a lot of people. They ask me a lot of questions how do I do this? How do I get over that? How do I get over that? What are you going to do? Let me look at your actions real quick. Let me look at your actions oh, I can't do this. And at your actions oh, I can't do this and I can't. Why not? Huh, why? I guarantee you this. If somebody said you got to get yourself signed up, you got to get yourself enrolled in this, you have to go do this. If somebody told you, if you don't do it, you're going to lose your life or your kids will lose, I guarantee you'll figure out a way. Huh, true accountability. You ready? True accountability, true accountability, true accountability, true accountability, true accountability.
Speaker 1:Supreme accountability does not focus on why it cannot do something. It spends its energy on how it's going to do it. Where there is a will, there is a way. Do you see now why we say this? So when we're not the victim and we accept accountability, you ain't going to make no excuse as to why you cannot do something. You're not the victim and we accept accountability. You ain't going to make no excuse as to why you cannot do something. You're not going to make no excuse for somebody else's behavior towards you. You won't try to be accountable for anyone else other than yourself. So when someone's looking at you, someone's cussing at you, somebody's treating you less than you're not going to be accountable for them and allow that behavior to continue. You can't do it. You keep acting like this. Go ahead, I don't need you to change. You keep acting like this. No problem at all. But you better believe when you wake up in the morning, I ain't going to be here. That's what that's going to look like. That's what accountability looks like.
Speaker 1:I'm going to step into who and how I know I am. You keep doing your unaccountable thing More to who and how I know I am. You keep doing your unaccountable thing. More power to you. I'm not going to be accountable for your life anymore. I got to be accountable for my life. And if I'm accountable for my life and if you can meet me at that frequency now we got this love child of accountability and what we call a couple, and if you can't meet me at accountability, that's okay.
Speaker 1:I am now resonating at a frequency that somebody will resonate at that same level of accountability. Do we see how this works? Do we see? And now I'm going to attract somebody in that you thought was so fruitful. You have not seen nothing yet. You have not seen anything.
Speaker 1:So accountability won't allow you to blame anybody. It won't. How am I going to blame somebody? How am I going to blame somebody for their actions? How am I going to do that? How am I going to blame somebody for what they did? How am I going to blame somebody for their actions? How am I going to do that? How am I going to blame somebody for what they did? How am I going to blame somebody for what they did or did not do? How am I going to blame anything? Am I blaming something? That's because I'm unconsciously perceiving it as a victim. That's on me, that's on you.
Speaker 1:Oh goodness gracious, this was a long one, this was a long one, but somebody had to do it. Somebody had to do it. Somebody had to shake you and say, hey, wake up. Wake up. Don't you sit here, walk around here with that shame and that guilt and that victim consciousness. Don't you do it anymore. Pick yourself up, clean yourself off, wipe the sleep out of your eyes, get yourself brushed, get your teeth brushed, wash that face and get yourself up and go. After today, go and get it. Stop thinking someone else is going to come do it for you. Stop thinking somebody else is going to save you. Stop thinking that someone else ever had more power over you than you had the ability to have power over yourself. Stop it. You. Stop it right now. Stop it Enough, enough. No more. No more will you walk around and allow someone else to be more accountable for you than you are for yourself. No more, no.
Speaker 1:This is part of the reason why I'm moving into this season now, like really, why I'm moving into this season now, like really, oh gosh, I guess you can call it the father of healing, right? This is why I'm doing this right, if not, I sat and reflected this morning. I said why are we developing HEAL? Why are you doing this eight-week program? Why are you doing this eight-week virtual coaching to coach people all around the world and help them? Why are you doing this? Because I realized that this is one of the greatest gifts that I have is my level of accountability, my ability to look myself in the mirror and go towards where the pain was and go towards where it hurt and go towards where it sucked. This was a great superpower that I had developed, but a lot of people don't know how to do that. A lot of people don't have it. So this is why I have to teach them. I have to give them their power back. I have to give them their ability back so they can be account able. And if they're account able, they're going to tap into their account ability.
Speaker 1:I got to do this and I'm not going to stop. I'm not going to stop. I am not going to stop. What did I tell you guys on the podcast before? Don't stop when you're tired, stop when you're done. I'm not going to stop. I'm not. You can say it. I guess you can say it's happening on a soul level. I'm not going to stop. I don't care if it's books, I don't care if it's podcasts, I don't care if it's courses, I don't care if it's retreats, I don't care if it's events, I don't care if it's talks.
Speaker 1:I'm going to go speak to my daughter's school. I'm going to go speak because they've been having problems with the kids. Boy's been fighting, fighting at recess, and it's like. I asked my daughter. I said what do you feel she's like? It's scary. They're sitting there fighting. I said don't you worry, I need to come in there. And I just kind of put that out there.
Speaker 1:But then the teacher had contacted my wife because they said they were sitting around. They said it's out of hand and there's no men in the school. All the administration is all women. They said we don't know what to do. How do we get these boys, these boys who come from single family homes, who need a man? What do we do? So here's what they did. They sat and talked about the principal, the assistant principal, everybody sat and talked. They said well, what about Ruby's dad? My wife came to me. She said here's what they asked. I said I'll be in there whenever they can. You let me know. They wanted me to come one day.
Speaker 1:Now, before you know it, they threw out three dates of possible dates. Maybe they would sync up with my calendar. They said can you come all three? I said I'll come all four, I don't care if there's five, I don't care if there's six, I'll come in there, because these babies, these children, they got to know, they got to be able to hold themselves accountable. Because the only reason that you're fighting, the only reason that you're fighting, is because you're not being accountable for your behavior. You're being accountable for somebody else's something to you, and now you're trying to be more accountable for their behavior than you are for your own self. I said I'll be in there.
Speaker 1:And here's the deal. Some of these boys are going to hear some stuff that they probably never heard before. I'm gonna shoot them real. I'm gonna shoot them straight. I don't know nothing other than that, because I know that one day these boys are going to be 40 years old. These boys are going to have their own families. These boys are going to meet life, and life's going to get hard. And these boys are going to have their own families. These boys are going to meet life, and life's going to get hard and these boys are going to want to quit. And these boys are going to want to give up and these boys are going to want to leave their families. They're going to want to leave. They got a baby on the way and they don't know how they're going to take care of it. They're going to want to leave. And then the cycle will complete itself. If I can teach them how to be accountable, this will stop the cycle and they will not have to be deadbeat dads and they have kids who end up coming from single family, single father homes or single parent homes.
Speaker 1:Do we see? Do we see how this works? This is why accountability was so important. I'm going to see you and heal. I will see you and heal.
Speaker 1:We're starting on November 3rd. We're going to December 22nd. It will be the greatest Christmas present that you haven't given yourself. We're going to activate that accountability muscle. We're going to get that thing revved back up again. It's like having that car that's been buried in the backyard and when you went out to the country you didn't know if the car still worked, but you found the keys and you turned it back on and that thing started generating. We're going to get this thing cranked up back again and when you get that accountability muscle, I will watch you get to the top. I will literally sit here in the background like this. You keep going, so I'll see you in heel, I will see you there. Go to DG Mindset, go to the link in bio and any other of my social medias and you'll find the link there. Get yourself signed up right now and keep going, and, as always, I wish you nothing but the best on the pathway to your results.